Dexter
Surprise, Mother…

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 19 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Breaking Bad

Some hospital staff members come in to check on Hannah -- and she's gone. Can't say I wasn't rooting for that.

Dexter breaks into LaGuerta's place and discovers, much to his chagrin, a warrant request that would allow her to access the GPS records of both his and Deb's phones the night Colin Hanks was killed. Someone suggests that it's time to run, but Dexter thinks he can't leave Deb behind to take the fall, nor could she handle life on the run. Not only that, he no longer wants to run either. Turns out the fake life he and someone created as a cover has become the truth, and he doesn't want to lose it, so he's going to stand his ground -- he's going to kill LaGuerta. And I don't have a problem with this development from a story perspective, but does Dexter really think, in addition to killing her, he's going to be able to effectively eradicate all the evidence she has piling up? But Dexter looks firm, and someone, in shock, asks how they ended up here...

...so it's time for one last flashback. Dexter, with that same psycho-dork look on his face, comes off the MM elevator with a big box of doughnuts, which are picked off one by one by passers-by, including a uniformed and bangs-sporting Deb, who mentions she's going to pick up steaks and beer for them that night. Ah, steaks and beer. Were we ever so young?

With only a couple left within, Dexter drops the box on Doakes' desk and advises him to get them while they last, but Doakes is like, "I don't want no fuckin' doughnut." And in this case, when I say he's "like" that, I mean that he says it verbatim. He then actually apologizes, saying that he's preoccupied about LaGuerta, and after an awkward pause, Dexter offers, "Never jump the fence if you're not willing to see what's on the other side." I mean, I don't think Doakes is the type to be consoled by platitudes at the best of times, but in this case, Dexter's made a real mistake.

You see, as Doakes explains, he's had the journal of that "motherfuckin' hooker-killer" locked up in his desk -- a journal that just so happens to contain the exact line Dexter just quoted. Dexter's like, huh, weird coincidence, but Doakes isn't playing, and when Dexter tries to take off, Doakes gets to his feet and says there's something off about Dexter. "The fake smile, the doughnuts -- you don't even walk like a normal person; you glide, like a... fucking lizard on ice." Probably best that Dexter doesn't point out that lizards are cold-blooded -- that's just the sort of thing Doakes would unfairly turn around! Dexter keeps the smile plastered on his face through all this, and tries to tell Doakes he's overreacting, but Doakes' last line gets through: "You are one creep motherfucker." The smile gone from his face, Dexter walks off...

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Dexter

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