Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: A | Grade It Now!
Downs's Syndrome

Ah, title sequence, how I love thee!

Okay, so last week, some serious shit went down. Harry taught us all that something majorly boned happened in Dexter's early childhood that gave him the urge to kill. Deb found the ice truck, which contained five fingertips, each with different-colored nail polish. Dexter thought all the effort was to impress him. Deb got reassigned to homicide and responded in her uniquely dorky way. A cop named Ricky Simmons and his wife got murdered, and Doakes took. It. Personally! But only because he was totally gettin' some on the side from Mrs. Simmons herself. Apparently, Ricky was deep undercover with a crime syndicate run by a Mr. Carlos Guerrero, whom Dexter stared down at a urinal at the end of the episode.

And we're back to now, with a gorgeous shot of the Miami daytime sky. Suddenly we're treated to the voice of an un-brain-damaged Cyril O'Reily (Scott Winters, yet another actor from Oz, as well as that douche from the "How ya like them apples" scene from Good Will Hunting), saying, "Miami's full of good cops. A lot of them here today." He goes on to say something about not wanting any of them to hit on his sister, which seems inappropriate considering he's delivering a eulogy for Ricky Simmons, his apparent brother-in-law. Ooh, juicy! I have a feeling we're in for some good ol' beefing between him and Doakes. Dex comes in with a VO: "Most people have a hard time dealing with death, but I'm not most people." You don't say. "It's the grief that makes me uncomfortable, but not because I'm a killer. Really, I just don't understand all that emotion, which makes it tough to fake. In those cases, shades make it handy." Dexter slaps on a pair of shades. Because he's so emotionless. He looks cool.

Suddenly, the funeral service is over, and Doakes approaches "Mac," which is short for Detective MacNamara (you know, Cyril O'Reily). Doakes says, "I'm sorry." "Thanks, man." "Fucking travesty." Doakes talks a bunch of shit about Guerrero, and MacNamara's all, "I didn't know you and Ricky were so tight." "It's not about that. You fuck with a cop, and you lose the right to walk the streets, am I right?" "Right." Dude, this shit's going to come to a head. I just know MacNamara's going to find out Doakes was sleeping with his sister...

Angel and Deb pass LaGuerta, who's giving a TV interview about Ricky, who apparently "knew no fear." They catch up with Dexter, and Deb's like, "Can you believe her? She didn't even know Simmons." Dexter doesn't care. Deb continues, "I'm proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals. How you holding up?" "I'm managing." Then, VO: "No I'm not. Keeping my face pinched in sorrow for two straight hours is a real chore." Then, as he observes Ricky Simmons's ashes being spread on the shore: "A whole life reduced to ashes. For Ricky Simmons, it's over." Thank God! I'm so sick of typing his stupid name over and over. I never even met the guy! "But sometime you get a second chance." Really? How? Please explain, Mr. Morgan.

Now in the car outside a prison, Dexter continues, "Florida prisons kick free 25,000 inmates a year. They don't do that for me, but it sure feels like it. I search for the ones who think they beat the system. They're not hard to find, like Jeremy Downs." We see a very young-looking kid glancing around in slow motion, indeed looking as though he just got away with something major.

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