Once Upon A Time…

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: C | 1 USERS: D+
And They Lived Stabbily Ever After
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: There's a new killer. He's a Hanks and he's gross and Edward James Olmos is his Harry. Dexter doesn't believe in anything, but he needs to believe in something for Harrison's sake. Angel and Maria are divorced and Maria is promoted to Captain. Deb saves the day when a shooter comes into the restaurant where she's dining with Quinn and he's trying to propose.

Lights up on Dexter's apartment, we see a door cracked and a foot oddly positioned in our sight line. He VO's that, before recently, he didn't believe in anything. Now he does. He believes that everything is better after a bubble bath. You guys! You got me. The camera moves in and we see Dexter giving Harrison a bath. He says that rituals are important and not just for a serial killer but for two-year olds also. We see him going over the mechanics of tooth brushing with Harrison. Bedtime with his son is his favorite ritual of the day now, which is interesting news. How jack-in-the-box can compare with stabbing suspected bad people is beyond me. Not like I think one is better than the other, I just really don't see how you can compare the two. Wait, I'm pretty sure I believe that playing with the kid is better. Then, with his face positioned away from the camera because he's a baby and can't learn lines yet (they should've gotten an Olsen -- aren't there like 15 of them? One of them has got to be an infant right now), we hear, "Monster story, Daddy." Smart move there, Dexter. He tells the story of the bad Chino who was terrorizing the neighborhood. DADDY slays the bad Chino and hides the body. Seriously, that's the story. Thanks for making the details so opaque, Dex. You've really got this organized. Then, Harrison says, "Daddy's box." Dexter seems stunned. You know about the box? I mean, people always say that kids pick up more than you expect, but wouldn't you know if you were revealing the box where you kept slides of blood extracted from your murder victims? Come on. The baby didn't just intuit the box into existence in his mind. He VO's that he always knew this day would come, just not so soon. But, seriously, you just told him a story about killing people. Either you care if people find out or you don't. I mean, I'm HYPER-aware of the visibility of certain things in my room, be they diet pills, condoms or The Nanny Diaries (which I guess would make the condoms unnecessary if ever found). I just know if there's any way that they could be seen. Are you telling me I'd be a more responsible serial killer than Dexter?

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