Monkey in a Box

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C+ | 161 USERS: B-
Things Fall Apart

Deb is setting up her new desk when Dexter comes up (one whole day of overlap!) and tells him what just happened with Daniel. He shows her the DNA swab, and when she doesn't get the significance, he gives her an "I know you've been out of the game a while, but…" look. The test will reveal his familial match to Vogel, which will lay bare his history as a psychopath. Deb then asks why Dexter is helping MM here, and I'd point out that he didn't have a choice with the DNA test and it's something Deb would surely hear about soon enough. But Dexter seems sincere as he tells her he just wants Daniel taken care of …he doesn't have to do it himself. Deb looks like she doesn't quite know what to make of that but also that this might not be something that affects my life in roughly a day, so instead I'm going to focus on the fact that my desk doesn't have any pens. In aid of that errand, she raids Quinn's desk and gets caught in the act by the owner/ Quinn tells her to take what she needs but probably regrets that when she digs around and finds the engagement ring he once gave to her, although he jokes that he kept it around in case he wanted to marry someone else from work. Hey, Quinn, I was rooting for you and Batista too, but I think Florida's going to be one of the last states on the list for that kind of union.

At night, Dexter approaches the abandoned hospital, wearing his usual kill outfit. (Wouldn't he want to give it a night off out of respect for Vogel?) There's a long sequence of him walking down a hallway that I'm sure is meant to be very spooky but after the exquisite genius of American Horror Story: Asylum it's best to just leave these things to the pros, especially since he doesn't actually run into anything scary. And just for posterity, before I leave this show forever, can I say this: not counting the establishing ten seconds or so outside the hospital, would you like to guess how long we spend on Dexter walking through the hospital, from the time he enters to the time he opens Daniel's kill room door? Seventy-six seconds. Well over a minute spent on Dexter walking in the penultimate episode of the entire series when if they really needed to show him they could have done a montage in about five. I suppose it's naïve to think the writers would want to leave their best impression on their way out the door, but that's offensively lazy. Come up with more (and interesting) story so your editors can show their faces in public.

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