Dexter

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: A | 2 USERS: A+
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"He who doesn't fear Dex dies only once."

At the station, a maintenance guy is taking LaGuerta's name plate off her office door, and everyone is meeting about Deb's situation. LaGuerta holds up a picture of Rudy. "Deb was last seen driving to the Miami Beach Marina to meet him." She says they need to canvas the entire area. The random cop from last episode mentions that the judge just approved the warrant for Rudy's apartment, and LaGuerta says, "Let's tear that place apart." Mathstor walks in, and he's got Esmé Pascal, the new lieutenant, with him. He introduces her, saying, "She agreed to put her vacation on hold and come in early to provide us with some much-needed leadership at this critical time." "I hear we have a new suspect in the Ice Truck Killer case," says Pascal. LaGuerta says they're on the way to search his place right now, and Pascal stops her. "You are...?" "Maria LaGuerta, and we have an officer missing so we have to move fast." "I thought Sgt. Doakes was running that investigation." "He's out following a lead." "What lead?" "He said he'd let me know if it came to anything, now if you'll let me --" "I'll take it over from here, thank you, Maria." Rowr! Catfight! Just kidding. Well, no, I'm not. I half expect LaGuerta to bust out the Vaseline, but she's too dumbstruck by Pascal's display of alpha-femininity to even respond. "Who can get me up to speed on the way over?" asks Pascal to the room. "I can, I guess," says a random cop. To rub it in, Pascal tells LaGuerta to "feel free to join us when you locate your partner." Ooh, burn! As everyone heads out, LaGuerta and Mathstor share a Fuck You look. Tensions are high.

The shipping yard, where Dexter is about to break in. "It's in there, somewhere," Dex VOs. "My birthplace. Now what? No cameras, no patrols, no dogs. With billions spent on homeland security, it can't be as easy as a couple of snips." Alas, it is. Dexter busts out his lock-cutter, and with a single snip, he gets in through a gate in the chain-link fence. "So much for the war on terror." He begins sneaking around, looking for his container, being careful not to get caught. He dashes over to a small structure that houses a computer. "Finding a needle in a haystack isn't hard when every straw is computerized." True enough. Dex enters the container number, and after a few seconds the screen gives him the exact location. As he continues his search on foot, he VOs: "I don't like this place. Something nameless was born here. Something that lives in the deepest, darkest hole of the thing called 'Dexter.'" There it is. Dexter just stands there, staring at it for a moment, and he flashes back to Harry's rescue. Harry carries little Dexter out, and tells him, "It's all right, little guy. You're safe, now. Nothing'll hurt you, I promise." The scene fades before Dexter's eyes after he makes eye contact with his younger self. He turns back towards the container, opens the doors, and what's inside? Bananas. A whole shitload of bananas. Mmm, bananas. I'm just going to say "bananas" one more time, okay? "Bananas." Sweet. Anyway, Dexter shuts the doors, disappointed, and there's Doakes. Aw, fuck. "Surprise, motherfucker." How the hell is Dex going to explain this? Dude, Doakes is so fucking on to him.

"You're following me now?" asks Dex. "You better have a hell of a reason for being here," Doakes replies. Dex says he's looking for Deb. "In a cargo container?" "Yeah, I'm kind of working on a theory." "Did you forget that you work for the fucking cops? We love theories! Come on, spin me a story, asshole!" Dexter says what he does in his own spare time is his business, and Doakes mirrors the sentiment: "I'm on my time, now, asshole." "All right, you got me," says Dex. "I ordered some furniture from Thailand, but --" He's cut short by a punch to the gut, and when Doakes swings again, Dexter dexterously (Hee! ...I know, I'm a geek. Fuck off) grabs his wrist and quickly seizes his throat with his other hand, slamming him against the container. "Lab geek, my ass!" struggles Doakes, and Dex slams him against the container. Having watched too much Six Feet Under, I fully expect them to start making out, but alas, no. Their fighting is interrupted by a foreman, who's on his radio telling someone to come down right away. Doakes flashes his badge, and the guy asks if Dexter is under arrest. "That's a good question," says Dexter. Doakes: "You're connected to this. I don't know how, but I'm going to find out, and some of what I find is going to stick to your ass." Dex just shakes his head. They both get texts at the same time, and look at one another.

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Dexter

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