Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: A | 2 USERS: A+
"He who doesn't fear Dex dies only once."

As she lies in Dexter's bed, asleep, Dexter draws the blinds and says, "Don't worry, the sheets are clean. We aim to please here at Chez Dex. I'll be sleeping on the couch with a spring in my side just to make sure you're safe tonight, but we're going to have to talk tomorrow about a long-term plan. After you get a good night's sleep. Deb?" No answer. He pets her head for a minute, and the camera switches to a view from outside as a few double-basses hold a low note in the soundtrack, letting us know they're being watched. Back inside, Dex says, "Good night, sister," shuts the light, and goes to bed.

Dexter's asleep on the couch as some Santa Claus special plays on the TV, and someone is picking his lock. Quietly, Brian opens the front door, and peeks in creepily. He silently walks over to where Dexter is sleeping and watches him for a minute, then turns around and quickly heads to the master bedroom. As soon as he's in there, he stabs Deb in the back, but she doesn't make a noise. He rips up the covers to reveal that it's just a dummy, in parts that look just like the ones he's left at so many of his own crime scenes. In a flash, Dexter has a piece of piano wire around Brian's neck. "I stopped by your prosthetics lab after I left Deb at the hospital." Brian begins to lose consciousness. "Your work is so good, you even fooled yourself." He's out. "Sweet dreams, Biney."

Back at Brian's apartment, Brian wakes up on his own rack, in his own personal freezer. Dexter comes in and says, "Hey." Brian doesn't say anything. "You weren't supposed to wake up." "I guess not." "Sorry. The police recorded all your knives as evidence. Took a while to find your dinner flatware." Dexter puts a big box on the table. "Sterling," says Brian, nonchalantly. "I keep it for special occasions." Dexter puts the big blood bin under Brian's head. "Which you are," says Dex. Dexter says Brian can have more tranquilizers if he wants: "It's a service I don't usually offer." Brian smiles and says, "What am I, one of your victims, now? You gonna collect a little sample of Biney's blood for your slide collection?" "You're not a trophy. But you need to be put down." "Why? Because of your code?" "And the safety of my sister." Brian reminds him that Deb's not his real sister, again. "I know that!" Dexter yells. A tear rolls out of Brian's right eye. "You should know this isn't easy for me," says Dexter, seeing this. "You've done more to deserve my knife than anyone." Dexter crouches down and touches his forehead to Brian's. He's crying now. "And you're the only one I've wanted to set free." "You're the one who needs setting free, little brother. Your life is a lie. You'll never be what you --" Dexter slits his throat with what I think is a butter knife, and Brian looks surprised. After letting out a guttural noise of combined relief and mourning, Dexter says, "Sorry. I can't hear anymore, 'cause you're right." Dexter falls back into the corner, holding the switch that elevates the rack, which he flips. As Brian gets flipped upside down, and his carotid artery fountains blood into the pan below, Dexter sobs, probably for the first time in a really long while.

A while later, the room is a crime scene, yet again. Masuka asks LaGuerta how she knew he was there. "Neighbors saw the front door open." Masuka says, "We got his fingerprints on the knife, note on the fridge, and a single incise wound to the neck with a slight upward angle." It all points to a clear suicide. LaGuerta comments that he did it the same way he did with the hookers, meaning the use of the rack. "Poetic," she says. "Retarded," says Masuka. "Look at him. He's dead." LaGuerta comments that he always flaunted his kills, "like he was untouchable. By taking his own life, he's forbidding us from ever catching him." Masuka says he doesn't care why he did it, he's just glad he did.

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