Beauty and the Beast

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 6 USERS: A-
Would You Have A Drink With You?
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

You know how sometimes Dexter's dad shows up and just sort of bitches and bitches forever without getting to his point, because there is no point, because he is imaginary? This is one of those times. That flat-faced dirty urchin that Shawn Hatosy was keeping on ice at the tourist center and saw Dex kill him finally and then flailed about?

Well, that flurry of activity was I guess the last of the urchin's reserves, so now it's all blood and scars and Dexter cleaning the dirt and blood off one inch at a time. How Dexter that instead of just getting a hose he's going to tend each wound carefully and scrub tiny clean places off the person one at a time before getting to the presumable murder part.

Daddy Morgan runs through all the things that Dexter has done crazy so far this season, and how this season even more than usual is really just a metaphor for a Republican senator's secret life. "What's the first rule of the Code? Don't get caught when you go out hunting for men at night. What's the second rule of the Code? Don't do it in a public bathroom. What's the third rule of the Code? You need a new wife or people are gonna start asking questions."

So basically Dexter feels like he's gotta protect the matted gnarly urchin by -- still not sure -- and Dad feels like he needs to protect Harrison and himself by killing it dead. At some point during this conversation between the serial killer and the other people in his head, the urchin wakes up and gets a wonky-eyed view of Dexter trying to be "friendly" and "unassuming" and "comforting," which goes poorly of course, and then it's an urchin puddle on the floor, and some Nell-type noises, and grunts and groans and struggles and spelling W-A-T-E-R on her hand and finally he gets annoyed enough to go searching through all that hair and blood and filth for a spot to hit the urchin with some more M99.

Thinking that you can't really do this every four hours, forever, Dexter gets so nervous that he takes off his shirt and does a little dance. That helps me too sometimes when things get out of hand.

Deb calls and he yells at her and then he finds out that this whole fight with the urchin and his Dad took all night, and now it's tomorrow. "Masuka's trying, he really is," [he really is], "But the blood just doesn't talk to him the way it does to you. I really need your help on this!" Dexter realizes that not only does he have an innocent witness to deal with, but also he left the insane Irish nanny with Harrison all night so she probably turned him into a pudding because you know she's got some crazy up her sleeve. But because he loves his sister, Dexter decides to take a moment and help her out.

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