Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | Grade It Now!
Death Of A Salesman
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Dexter's bodies of work were discovered in the ocean. Deb was psyched about the "Bay Harbor Butcher," but Dexter hated the moniker. So did Special Agent Frank Lundy, the FBI guy sent to investigate these wacky murders. Doakes was tailing Dexter relentlessly. Rita finally brought up the whole Paul's shoe thing, and got a false confession from Dexter about him being a heroin addict.

"My name is Caroline. I'm an addict," says...well, Caroline, to the group of Narcotics Anonymous members looking on. After everyone says, "Hey, Caroline," she begins telling her story about pain pills and back surgery, and how after her back stopped hurting, she kept taking the pills, blah blah blah. "I just need them." "And I need duct tape," VOs a very bored-looking Dexter. "About four rolls. Running low on heavy-duty trash bags. When's the last time I sharpened my knives?" Oh, dude. He does not look happy to be there. Caroline's begun to cry, and Dexter rolls his eyes. "Tears, now? It's very hard to concentrate in here. How am I supposed to get any work done." Dexter smells something funny, and turns around to find some nasty bum looking down at him. A fetching young woman watches the brief interaction and smiles as Dexter stands to check out the coffee table offerings. As Caroline continues, Dex VOs, "No self-control, lost everything, trying to stop. Same whiny story over and over for...ten minutes? Seems like ten hours." He picks up a tiny brown donut and knocks it on the table, producing a solid clunk, and the same young woman looks back at him. "I'd kill for a Vicodin," says Caroline. "Lightweight," replies Dexter in his head. Dexter's had enough, and ducks out early.

"So, how was the meeting?" asks a hopeful-sounding Rita. "It was, uh, interesting hearing the same story over and over again," replies Dexter as he unpacks Chinese food. "Knowing you're not alone?" offers Rita. "Exactly." After Astor inquires about the presence of fortune cookies, Rita asks if he shared or if he just listened. "I just wanted to take it all in the first time out." Rita continues to grill him about a sponsor, and Dex says he didn't want to rush into such an important relationship. Rita agrees, and then says, "Okay, so let's see your newcomer's chip!" Dexter's all, "Newcomer's chip, yeeeaaahhh..." Rita looks nonplussed, and asks if he stayed until the end, and Dex says, "Of course I did. Right until the end." Now miffed, Rita tells him what a terrible liar he is and heads into the kitchen to get plates. She says she's too familiar with twelve-step programs to be fooled, and Dexter "admits" that he left early because he had some "important errands to run." "Important? Am I important? Are the kids?" Dex looks lost. "Yeah. Yes, of course." "Well, you're just going to have to figure out how important, because if you don't work the program -- and I mean really work it -- I just...I can't go through this again." She hands him the plate-pile hastily and gets the kids for dinner as Dexter wonders, "How important are they? I'm sure someone with a heart could answer that question." Oh, not this crap again. Come off it, bro. You have a heart. And, yes, I'm talking about the figurative one, jerkwater. Dexter goes to Rita and hugs her from behind: "Tomorrow; I'll go tomorrow. I'll stay." Rita looks happy again, and Dexter looks genuinely relieved, and in just one instant, his face shows how devastated he would be if he lost her. He fuckin' lurves her ass.

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