You're The Bad Guy

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
Dollar Kid/Topside Kid
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!


Eddie Spaghetti played right into Audrey Cruz's hands, releasing the falsified drug trials on the eve of Lyritrol's release to market in order to complete poor dead Vivian's quest for fake justice. Patriarch Robert Bowers has become convinced that the utterly sketchy Joanna is on the make in some way, although hilariously it's not her disregard for being undercover that did it, but just her incompetence at her fake job as his assistant. Now her mom is back in the house, and nobody knows what she remembers or whether she'll say it at the least convenient time possible. Sofia's old flame Wyatt became a pawn in Senator Haverstock's scheme to relieve Mia of her bone marrow, and Joanna convinced Mia to go through with the donation -- although now that Haverstock's last bit of leverage over the family is gone, there's no reason for him to keep Wyatt in jail. In turn, that bit of evidence was the last straw for poor old Edward, who is swiftly losing it. Oh, and Joanna finally slept with Julian, because Will's awfulness finally crossed the line.


Julian & Joanna giggle dorkily about how her mom's just down the hall and surely would she be upset about them doing it, because in fact she is correct -- in the past, but also in the present -- that there are a million power dynamics in place that are so creepy they render "feelings" irrelevant. Meanwhile the music is like, "Isn't this so super romantic? Who wouldn't want an entitled drug addict with daddy issues for their very own?" The second Julian gets in the shower, Horrible Nichole calls.

Joanna: "I promise to God, Nichole, you have five seconds..."
Nichole: "...Before I'm deported, I know, I know. Just listen, Audrey Cruz bought a one-way ticket to Morocco yesterday. Which is important for reasons you already know, but I'm happy to exposit for way longer than five seconds just in case."

At one point they discuss the "coincidence" about how she's been infiltrating Lyritrol since before it was even a gleam in Julian's eye and they literally say, "That can't just be a coincidence." As though pointing to the ridiculous conceits of this show -- especially this one, which is proving to be the backbone -- is a good idea. Like yeah, who would have thought, sleeping with the person whose actual job it is to scare your shareholders, that she might have something to do with scaring your shareholders? "We should have seen this coming. This should have been item one, but we were too busy getting dizzy on Will's merry-go-round of unprofessional bullshit to catch it."

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