Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A- | Grade It Now!
Mambo Italiano

Tom reviews the season, how it started with way too many contestants, and then some people got injured and some got eliminated, and how we've reduced the pool by half. So now they're going to have two weeks of double eliminations. This is what makes no sense to me. Why not have double eliminations when we have more sucky contestants, like in the third week? Give them a few weeks to get acclimated to the show, and then get rid of the dead weight early on. I mean, isn't it kind of boring watching people compete that you know have no chance in hell of winning? So just get rid of a bunch of them. Instead, we have to wait until we've narrowed it down to a group that's halfway decent, and then lose two of them in one week. It makes no sense to me. But anyway, they'll be dancing tonight, including a new thing called a Dance Marathon, and it'll all happen LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

Sam's got pageant hair tonight. They definitely busted out the hot rollers back in hair and makeup. It looks like my mom's hair at her wedding. In 1967. The couples are introduced. Y'all, I don't know what treatments or surgery or clean living or whatever that Louis Van Amstel has been doing, but he looks younger every week. He looks the same age as Kelly at this point, and I always thought of him as one of the older pro dancers. Holy crap, I just looked it up and he's 37. He looks way younger these days.

First to dance tonight are Mya and Dmitry. Last week, she had good technique but didn't make an emotional connection. This week, they have the jitterbug, and Mya is happy to hear it because it's a fun dance, and she's ready to have fun. Mya talks about the toll the dancing is taking on her body, but after a massage, she's ready to push on through. Their routine starts with Dmitry sweeping the floor with a broom while Mya dusts the judges' desk with a feather duster. There's way too much business at the beginning as Dmitry tries to get Mya to dance and she demurs until she's finally pulled into it. And again, it's technically very perfect, but I'm just not feeling it. Maybe it's the music, which I don't recognize. Mya is performing, but it feels hollow. I don't buy that she's having fun out there, and the same really goes for Dmitry. And frankly, the choreography doesn't look that hard to me.

Len hated the gimmicks and props, and he didn't like that they wasted 20 bars of music. I totally agree! He wanted more dancing. Bruno tells her not to worry because "cleanliness is next to Godliness," and he compliments her timing and their synchronization. Carrie Ann thought it was too controlled and muted and underperformed. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 9. Len gets boos from the audience.

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Dancing With The Stars




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