Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
Too Little, Too Late

Shakira is there to perform with a bunch of... I guess geishas? Playing drums? Pardon my cultural ignorance. I'm not sure what they have to do with the song, or Shakira, or anything. Or the song, which does not sound Asian in any way, shape, or form. Also, Shakira looks like Jessica Alba. I never realized that before.

After reminding us of last night's scores, Tom and Samantha are ready to tell us about some couples that are safe. The first one is... Mya and Dmitry. The second one is... Melissa and Mark, duh. Ooh, and they're going to reveal one of the couples in the bottom two, and it is... Aaron and Karina. The audience seems shocked. I'd like to note that I totally called it. And also, interesting that for the second week in a row, they are revealing the actual bottom two instead of that "may or may not be the bottom two" BS they usually do. I like it.

So they just revealed next season's Bachelor, and they had a lineup of potential dudes, and one of them was Derek Hough. I have to admit, I might actually watch a season with Derek as the Bachelor. Except he's all LDS so he probably wouldn't do any overnight dates or anything. Which would make me more likely to watch, to be honest. I find that part kind of gross.

Dmitry, Alec, and Louis join Edyta, Cheryl, and Karina to demonstrate the Argentine tango and the paso doble, next week's dances. I do always love seeing the pros dance together, as a reminder of what these dances are supposed to look like. It's especially impressive when you realize that they choreograph these routines in only a day or two, since they don't have a ton of rehearsal time apart from their celebrity partners.

Tom announces that next week, there will be a group dance of the Hustle, and he goes to Len to find out what the judges will be looking out for. Len doesn't give a good answer. Boo. Missed opportunity. Although I am reminded that next week will be the first time they have to learn two dances in one week.

Samantha talks to Melissa, Mya, and Aaron backstage. Melissa and Mya both admit that they're a little overwhelmed by seeing the pros do those dances. Samantha asks Aaron what he took away from the judges' critiques last night and Aaron is basically like, "I don't know." And that's why no one votes for him.

Tom is ready to reveal three more safe couples. The first one is... Kelly and Louis, yay! The second one is... Natalie and Alec, yay! I think those are my two favorite couples. And I was just about to say that Joanna might be growing on me, and Tom announces that Joanna and Derek are safe too. Tom points out that all of the women are safe, so a man will definitely be going home tonight. Maybe they need to bring Adam Carolla back for another pep talk. He told a hilarious story on a couple of his podcasts about his experience putting together the football coach skit he did earlier this season where he asked a PA to get him a big raw turkey for a prop and the dude brought him a small turkey breast, because he's incompetent. I'm sure the PA would tell a different story, but seriously. How hard is your job?

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Dancing With The Stars




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