Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
Why Can't We Be Friends?

It's Latin night! That could be bad news for some of the slower/older dancers, who tend to be better at ballroom than Latin. And wait! Tom didn't say LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! I feel so incomplete.

The couples make their way down the stairs to the stage. Latin brings out the bright and flashy costumes, right? And wigs, apparently. But I'll get to that later. Also, that Anna T. is a big girl. Like she's standing in front of Michael Irvin, professional athlete, and you almost can't see him. She's big and her hair has secrets. And Len is back! Samantha debiggified her hair this week. She announces that Tom DeLay has a stress fracture in his foot but of course they won't be announcing until later how that might affect his ability to compete. Hopefully, we just get to send him home.

Last week, Mark slipped on his pants leg and got a little off, and it affected his scores. This week, he and Lacey have the rumba, and Lacey has to try to get Mark to do things slowly because he normally behaves like a hyperactive child. I don't get how someone with so much martial arts discipline could be so unable to contain himself. When their actual routine starts, there's some business at the beginning where Mark teases some lady (his wife?) sitting in the audience, like he's a player. I actually don't really understand the storyline they've set up for this dance, but who cares? His hip action is good when he's dancing alone, but when they're in hold, he kind of forgets to move his hips and just walks. He's got great arm placement and flexibility; Lacey should choreograph to those strengths more. It's good but not compelling.

Judges? Len knows that the rumba is difficult for non-professional men, and this was a bit on the hard and masculine side, and he didn't feel the partners' connection. Bruno also thought there was a lack of chemistry. Carrie Ann thinks Mark is one of the best dancers in the competition, but lacks something, and it may be that connection with his partner. The audience gasps when Carrie Ann says that Mark looked awkward out there. Oh, relax audience. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6. The audience boos.

Joanna and Derek are up next. After last week's horse hair, Joanna is wearing a weird wig. [Do the costume designers just delight in making models look terrible? -- Angel] They have the samba this week. Derek tries to get Joanna to be sexy but the face she's making looks like a dead fish. Derek seems to like it, though. They work on samba rolls, and at least it's better than the one that Maks did with Denise Richards, although that's not saying much. So for their samba, Derek swings down onto the dance floor on a rope, which Len will probably hate. Their samba is adequate but not electric. Joanna looks more like a stripper than a Latin dancer when she rolls her hips around, and she doesn't bend her knees enough. Or something. I can't figure out what's weird about her legs, but they look like a Barbie Doll. It reminds me of Susan Lucci. And she takes steps that are too big, and they put her out of position for the next series of moves. The samba rolls are passable, but I have to believe she did better in rehearsal.

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Dancing With The Stars




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