Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A- | Grade It Now!
Tuesday's Gone

Last week, Lil Kim was voted off and I didn't realize how much I was rooting for her until she left. I guess Cinderella was right; you don't know what you got 'til it's gone. And it ain't easy to get back, takes so lo-ooo-oong. Sorry, my hair metal roots are showing. Have I told you guys about my Bon Jovi posters? Wouldn't Jon Bon Jovi be an awesome contestant on this show? I'm still holding out hope for Rick Springfield, though. Producers? Are you listening? Anyway, now it's the semifinals, and no one wants to go home. At first, I thought, "As if people DID want to go home before the semifinals!" And then I remembered Lawrence Taylor. Touche, Mr. Bergeron. Anyway, tonight they will be dancing again LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE.

The show opens with a pro number to "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by The Clash. Oh, dear. Joe Strummer is rolling over in his grave. Anyway, the dancers are Louis, Dmitri and possibly Genya Mazo? Along with Karina, Chelsie and some other blonde chick. It's short, and while I always appreciate adding dancing in as filler on a show about dancing, I don't really get what the point of that routine was. Then the semifinalists are introduced and I'm pretty sure Mark is wearing guyliner. I already miss Derek. Samantha's boobs look like they're about to pop out of her dress. I can't stop looking at them. They're mesmerizing. Tom and Samantha explain that the dancers will be performing one last Latin and ballroom dance each.

Melissa and Tony talk about how their foxtrot in week three was a breakthrough because Melissa finally got it. They reshow the whole routine and we get to hear Melissa and Tony's commentary as they watch it with us. I dig this new innovation, although there's not much about it to recap. For their Latin round, they rewatch their samba, and Melissa talks about how nervous she was during the solo at the opening. Melissa claims that in this dance, she finally understood the Latin hips, and she also was able to perform the dance for the first time instead of just thinking through the steps. She doesn't mention the part about how her boob popped out, which I totally missed, but my editor Angel caught. I mean, she didn't literally catch it. You know what I mean.

Next up for review are Gilles and Cheryl. So we're going to do this for all of the couples and then see the dances? Interesting. They choose their foxtrot from week nine for review. Gilles loved his costume, but inside he felt incredibly nervous. As they watch, Cheryl notices what Len picked up on, with Gilles' lack of rise and fall. Gilles points out a particularly difficult step, which to their credit doesn't look that difficult. Cheryl compliments his heel leads, and Gilles say that they had to work on it for many hours. Their favorite Latin dance was their paso doble in week five. Gilles reveals that it was Cheryl's idea for him to start without a shirt. Cheryl takes credit for a stumble at one point, and Gilles thinks that they covered it due to their facial expressions. Cheryl points out during the final killing shot that her head hit the floor really hard. Wow, you can totally see her head bouncing off the floor. Yikes.

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Dancing With The Stars




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