Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | Grade It Now!
Down to the Wire

So the routine itself is very '90s dance music inspired. And I don't hate that idea; as someone who spent a lot of time in dance clubs and watching music videos in the early '90s, I could have been a big fan of this routine. Even with Tony's terrible Right Said Fred see-through T-shirt. The problem is that it's a mish mash of styles, with the Running Man right next to a turn from the jive, right next to the Robot. Tony should have watched some Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul or Bobby Brown videos, or even done what I've been known to do from time to time and watch Dance Party USA videos on YouTube. Not to mention that it just feels messy, and they're out of sync at times. I will say that the energy level is good, but neither of them looks like they're truly having fun with it.

Carrie Ann tells Melissa that she loves her positive attitude and energy this week, but the choreography felt disjointed. Shouldn't she be telling Tony that? Len thinks Melissa has true versatility, but wishes that she had done a routine that showed off her elegance a bit more. He adds that the routine wasn't his cup of tea. Bruno makes a running man joke and then says that he agrees with Carrie Ann that it was disjointed, and not as perfect as he'd expect a final dance to be. I feel bad for Melissa; all of the judges' complaints were about the choreography, which is not her fault. Backstage, Samantha asks Melissa why the voters should vote for her. Melissa has clearly spent too much time on The Bachelor because she talks about the journey a lot. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9.

Gilles and Cheryl are the final couple to dance. Last week, Gilles and Cheryl got two perfect scores, so he's got a lot to live up to this week. Cheryl explains that her strategy in a finale (with Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith) has always been to show off her partner's personality. Apparently, Gilles' personality is uplifting because all we see them rehearse are tricks where Gilles lifts Cheryl up to his shoulder. And the problem is that he's been battling a shoulder injury all season, so he gets a doctor to come in and help him battle through the pain. And then Cheryl spends twenty minutes trying to get Gilles to smile. No smiling! I want smoldering.

Oh, dear. Gilles is wearing a strategically ripped T-shirt. It's bad times. They're dancing to "What A Feeling (Flashdance)" which makes me think of my mom, because she thought the chorus said, "Take your pants down and make it happen" and started questioning why I was listening to such a song as a middle-schooler. But it was part of that awesome genre of songs that we all loved in middle school, where they started out slow and then got fast. See also: "Dim All the Lights" by Donna Summer. They were great for making up dance routines, even then. And also, did you guys notice the acoustic version of this song on Grey's? What was up with that? It totally took me out of the scene. So anyway, I'm avoiding talking about the routine. As with Tony, this had the potential to be nostalgic fun, with some serious '80s moves. It's cute, and they look like they're having fun, but there's just not much dancing going on. It's a lot of purposeful walking around the floor with some lifts thrown in. I did like the bit where they pointed at the judges, an homage to the movie. But when you look at how much actual dancing Shawn did, this is nothing like that. It was better than Melissa and Tony's but barely.

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Dancing With The Stars




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