Dancing With The Stars

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Down to the Wire

Does it make any sense to anyone else that tonight, when there are six dances to perform, the show is an hour long, and tomorrow night, when there are only three plus the announcement, the show is two hours long? I get the whole Bachelor premiere and stuff, but just philosophically, does that bug anyone else? Then again, I hear that all of this season's contestants are actually going to dance tomorrow night. It's sort of like the stupid Dance-Off idea -- hey, you know those people that I voted off the show? I'd really love to see them all dance again. Boo.

Tom explains that the couples have been dancing for ten weeks, but most of them were eliminated one-by-one, including Ty last week. And now, the three best dancers are left. Well. That's a matter of opinion. I happen to think it's true, but I think a case could be made for Lil Kim over one of the others. I'll leave it to you to decide which one. Tonight, the three remaining couples will dance side-by-side in a paso doble faceoff. Perhaps it will involve John Travolta and Nicholas Cage? That would be pretty awesome, actually. And then, Tom says that the most anticipated dance of the season is the freestyle. I tend to be pretty underwhelmed by the freestyle. I can't remember the last one I really loved, or loved more than any other dance the couple did that season. I don't think I ever have. Even the Cheryl/Drew cowboy one -- not my favorite. But whatever happens, it will be LIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

The three couples come down the stairs in their paso doble costumes. I'm pretty sure Melissa is wearing almost the same one that Mel wore when she danced with Maks. It's the same style anyway -- the long coat over a bikini top and bottom. Tom reminds us that while Gilles and Cheryl are far and away ahead in total points, everyone starts back at zero tonight. The couples will do the paso doble and the freestyle tonight, the judges will score them, and the home viewers will vote. Then they will do one more dance tomorrow night for the judges scores, it all gets added together, and a champion is declared. I wonder if the dance tomorrow night even makes a difference. You know at this point that everyone is going to get nines and tens unless they really, really screw up.

As the couples were practicing their paso dobles, they each got a visit from a different judge. Len rides in the back of a limo and places a (fake) phone call to the other two. Bruno is poolside, in his Speedo, working on his tan. Thankgodfully, he has one leg up so you can't see his business. No one needs to see that. I have to thank the PA who made that executive decision. Carrie Ann is eating lunch alone -- a giant salad and a glass of wine. She looks really good, actually. Anyway, Len dispatches Len to go see Shawn and Carrie Ann to go see Melissa while he goes to see Gilles. I'm sure there will be various conspiracy theories hatched about which judge went to see which couple; I feel that this is all a setup for the cameras and at this point, if someone doesn't know how to dance, they wouldn't be in the finals. I don't know how much constructive criticism the judges can dispatch in a short visit, anyway. But we shall see.

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Dancing With The Stars

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