Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | Grade It Now!
Second Place is First Loser

Last night, the three finalists danced one last time for the viewers to vote, and tonight, they'll dance one last time for score from the judges. And by the end of this (two-hour) show, we'll have a champion!

To open the show, Lady GaGa is there to perform "Just Dance." She creeps me out. I guess that's the intended effect. Ooh, a dude in her band is playing the keytar. Now I love her. Does she really need a band, though? Is there any actual live music being played here? Also, how old is Lady GaGa? Like if you told me she was 55, I would believe it, and if you told me she was 25, I would believe it. People like that make me uncomfortable. Wow, I don't know that I've ever actually listened to this whole song before. It's kind of boring. I've only heard it used on the soundtrack of various television shows and in commercials. Finally the song ends. I can't believe for a song called "Just Dance," they didn't have any of the professionals come out and, you know, dance.

After recapping the events of last night, Tom asks Len for his feelings on the season as a whole. Len thinks it's been the best season so far, and the three best dancers really are in the finals, and it'll come down to the viewers' votes. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Backstage, Samantha asks Gilles and Melissa what in the heck they were thinking choosing an encore dance on which they originally got a 30. She's nicer about it, but that's basically what she says. They both say that they chose the routine that was their favorite, and didn't much pay attention to the scoring. Shawn chose one that earned her a 28, and she says that she chose it because she thought it was her breakthrough dance, and she wants to try to inject more personality into it.

Hey, remember this season? Let's watch a clip package of the season's highlights. We all lived it, though, so I'm not going to go into detail. Although all my hand-wringing over Woz seems like it happened years ago, and a bit silly now. Sorry about that. Obviously, he wasn't going to make it into the finals. It's also funny to remember how much I didn't know about Gilles when the show began and how much I've grown to like him. Oh, man. Denise Richards was a hot mess. She's got the crazy eyes.

Anyway, Belinda Carlisle and Jonathan are back to reprise their salsa. She hasn't improved at all, but I doubt she spent her time off practicing. She may have spent it getting some Botox though, because her forehead looks really frozen. Ooh, they're doing this as a montage instead of letting each person do a whole routine. So Maks and Denise pop out to do their quickstep, and Maks really looks like he could not care less about this routine. Holly and Dmitry are doing their samba. All this segment is proving to me is that the right people made the finals this season. It is kind of lame that they don't get to do their whole routine. I mean, we do have two hours of show, right? The music ends, and the three couples come out to talk to the hosts. Holly Madison looks much younger. Something's different about her face. Tom says that Samantha is going to star as Roxie Hart on Broadway. She can sing? And dance? It's nice to know that she's good at something, because it's definitely not hosting.

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Dancing With The Stars




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