Dancing With The Stars

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Kim: B | Grade It Now!
Jump, Jive and Wail

Last week, we found out (to the shock of no one) that Cloris and Rocco were in the bottom two, and ultimately Rocco went home. This week, the couples will have to do four new dances, which I'm kind of excited about, because I think the pros will seem more fresh since they aren't used to doing these routines a million times. But it also could mean that the routines will kind of suck, because the pros aren't familiar with the moves. Whatever happens, it will be (say it with Tom now) LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

What is going on with Samantha's hair tonight? It's like all teased but then slicked back in a sort of modified beehive. It looks weird. I like her hair more loose and curly. Not that I spend a lot of time thinking about Samantha's hair. I really don't. (I kind of do.) No, I really don't.

Tom announces that it's the halfway point, which makes the fact that Cloris is still there even more puzzling. Okay, Derek and Brooke must be doing the jitterbug, because they're all ''50s style. That means Derek has a pompadour. The problem is that Derek has been growing his hair out -- in one rehearsal clip a moment ago, it was long enough that he had the sides and top pulled up into a ponytail to keep it out of his face. So imagine all that hair teased up into a pompadour. Yeah. It's not a good look. And then Julianne must also have the jitterbug because she's dressed like Lucille Ball. Are the people on this show capable of thinking past the most obvious stereotypes? Then again, I guess they're trying to appeal to a broad spectrum so they need to go for the obvious.

Tom gives the lowdown on the routines: there are four new dances and eight couples, so two couples per dance. The couples doing the same dance will be back-to-back so that we can compare and contrast. Tom asks Len to explain what the judges will be looking for in these routines. Len says that West Coast swing is all about being smooth and down and dirty, the hustle is all about '70s disco, salsa is hot and spicy, and the jitterbug is the jive plus rock and roll. The look on Derek's face while Len is talking is hilarious -- Derek looks like he's never heard any of the information that Len is imparting before. Like if there were a thought bubble over his head, it would say, "The hustle is about '70s disco? No one told me!" Sometimes I don't think Derek is all that bright.

We're diving right into the dancing tonight, with Lacey and Lance up first. Last week, their tango helped them to get noticed by the judges. Lance feels that people expected a lot from him because he was in a boy band, but everyone said he was the worst dancer in the group. He confesses that when they got signed, the label wanted to kick him out of the group because he was a sucky dancer. While I don't want to fall for the emotional manipulation of this clip package, that would be really hard to hear. I mean, he was worse than Joey Fatone? It wouldn't hurt to be told you were worse than Justin certainly, or JC, I guess. Anyway, this week, they have the West Coast swing, and Lacey is apparently the world champion for this dance. Interesting that they added it this season, and it's Lacey's first season. Interesting? Or conspiracy? You make the call! Lacey is taking him to see her father, Buddy Schwimmer, who is known as the King of Swing. I don't watch So You Think You Can Dance, but I've read stories about Buddy being quite the stage dad, so he must be thrilled to be more involved in the show. Sadly, they show a photo of Buddy back in the day, and then when they cut to Buddy of today -- well, there's really no polite way to say this, but he's gained a lot of weight. He must not be doing much swinging these days. Lance and Lacey join in a class with a bunch of little kids, and Buddy walks him through some of the dances. Lance claims that this has really helped his confidence. I wonder how much Buddy had to do with the choreography. There I go with my conspiracy theories again.

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Dancing With The Stars




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