Dancing With The Stars

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Kim: A | Grade It Now!
Tight Pants and Ballroom

First up are Cody and Julianne. Cody is the youngest competitor. I'm sure that will only be mentioned another million times. Cody says that he likes to beat box and rap. Oh, dear. Cody might be home schooled. They rehearse the cha cha cha and Cody gets distracted by Julianne's assets. Anyway, here they are with the cha cha cha! Julianne is all flappered out. I've learned the trick with Julianne is to keep your eyes on her partner instead of her, because she's distracting. And Cody is pretty good! Not great, but good for the first week. They approach the judges. Len compliments his high-energy dancing but warns him against overdoing it. Bruno makes some semi-creepy double entendre as usual and then tells Cody to focus on his feet. Carrie Ann points out that Julianne and Cody's ages added together is younger than she is. She liked their form, and thinks any problems can be attributed to nerves. While waiting for the scores, Tom reminds us that tomorrow, one couple will be eliminated and the rest will do their second dance. And then Wednesday night, there will be one more elimination, thank God. Get rid of the dead weight early. And the scores are Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6 for a total of 18. That's pretty low, but I hope the judges are trying to leave themselves some room for improvement. As we go to break, Tom tells us that Karina turned an ankle in rehearsal, and Jeffrey Ross did... something, and we'll find out after break if they're performing tonight or not.

Tom shows us the footage of Karina spraining her ankle in rehearsal, and she just rolled it, so I don't see what the big deal is. Walk it off, Smirnoff! In their introductory package, Rocco reminds us that he's a chef and not a dancer. Well, some would argue not a chef either. I used to like Rocco until his terrible reality show, but he's won me back a little bit with his more recent appearances on Top Chef. He's lost some of the bloat and the d-baginess, and appears a bit more self-aware. Then again, he's on this show, so who knows? Rocco has trouble remembering to look up instead of at his feet, and offers to cook for the judges if they will be kind to him. They begin their foxtrot to "Stray Cat Strut" of all things. Rocco looks terrified. Ooh, Rocco needs to learn to point his toes when he kicks his feet up. He's got some natural grace and he's light on his feet, so that's something, but he appears tentative and he's up in his head instead of just enjoying the moment. I wonder if they had to change the routine due to her injury and it's throwing him? When they finish, Rocco is way out of breath. Bruno thinks Rocco looks like he was being prodded with a cattle prod, but he knows Rocco will improve. Carrie Ann thought it was "really cute" and that Rocco connects with the audience well. Len thinks Rocco needs some more finesse. I've made a policy this season that I'm not reproducing comments that the judges obviously wrote (or had written for them) before they even saw the routine. Unless it's actually funny. But they usually aren't. I think I might like Rocco. Who knew? Scores! Carrie Ann 5, Len 4, and Bruno 5. Wow! I am really digging the lower scores. Maybe the 10s at the end will actually mean something now. Tom comments that he forgot they even had a 4. Me too!

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Dancing With The Stars




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