Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | Grade It Now!
Apolianne FTW

Tom reminds us that in addition to the big celebration of the 100th episode tonight, one of the celebrities will be going home. Aw, can't they give them a week off like Idol Gives Back? It's like, "Hey, welcome to the party! Grab some cheese and crackers and maybe some of the bacon-wrapped scallops. Yeah, open bar! Totally! All of you celebrities, enjoy! Except you, Marissa. Yeah, you're going home.

We open with a routine with past and present pros dancing. I spot Kym, Ashley, Cheryl, Karina, Anna, Derek, Louis, Maks, Jonathan, Alec, Fabian, and one woman that I totally don't know. She must be from the first season or she got eliminated first in one of the later seasons or something. Seriously, no clue. Anyway, it's a cool routine with lots of high-flying stunts and even some gymnastics by Derek and Louis. In my mind, Louis is like fifty-two years old (I know he's much younger) so I'm always surprised when he can do a back handspring or whatever.

Before we get to walk further down memory lane, Tom and Samantha introduce the recap of last night's routines. The most notable part for me is that we learn that Jason helped Cristian rewrap his elbow so that he could perform his second routine. Aw! Bromance! As we go to commercial, Sabrina Bryan says that her favorite moment from the show was seeing Emmitt Smith bust out the MC Hammer dance.

When Tom returns, he explains that they got 100 fans in the audience by bringing in two people from each state. ["Is that like Noah's Ark?" -- Angel] I get totally distracted by the fact that there's a woman behind Tom who seriously does not know how to clap. How do you not know how to clap? What is wrong with her? Anyway, Samantha is backstage with the remaining contestants to ask them if they feel safe. I know this is going to be a shocker, but none of them feel safe.

Rascal Flatts comes out to sing a song. Why does their lead singer look like the love child of Larry Bird and Michael Rapaport? Apolo and Julianne come out to dance to the song. Aw, I've missed these tiny people. Ooh, they do a sexy move where they roll around on the floor on top of each other. Julianne! I think Adam rubbed off on her. I didn't mean that to come out as dirty as it did. Now I've grossed myself out. They do a spin that really shows off Julianne's athleticism and then she does a leg extension that shows that her legs are just as flexible as Edyta's, even if they are only half as long. This is a really beautiful routine and I'm glad they chose Apolo to do it instead of Helio. I wonder if Julianne had anything to do with that decision. All of the stunts and lifts in this routine have been really impressive, and the chemistry with these two is really amazing. Well done.

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Dancing With The Stars




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