Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | Grade It Now!
Gay, Straight, or Gute?

After more explanation of how two couples will dance again and one will be eliminated, Cristian and Cheryl are announced as the third-place couple. Cristian is very emotional as he thanks Cheryl for helping him work through his injury. Tom admits that he thought Cristian was nuts for continuing on at first, but now he thinks Cristian is amazing. I love it when Tom takes sides, because he's usually such a pro, and it humanizes him. We see a clip package of Cristian's journey of dance. Remember when Cristian had two good arms? Good times. Cheryl says that out of all her seasons on the show, this was one of her favorite journeys. Apparently "journey" is the keyword this season. I wish they would play some Journey. Since they've got time to kill, they let Cristian and Cheryl dance their third dance anyway; a redux of their paso doble.

The former contestants are back to dance, and first up is Penn Jillette and Kym to do the cha cha cha. Yeah, I think America did the right thing sending Penn home first. He screws up a bunch, although Kym manages to cover for him, and then he finishes facing the wrong way. Oops. I always wonder if the former contestants don't practice much because they just don't care, or if they practice extra hard to try to prove the audience how wrong they were. I'm guessing it depends on how far they made it and how seriously they took it. I could see Mario trying to prove something to the audience and/or judges, but I don't think Penn has the talent or desire to prove anything to anybody. The only thing he proves is that he's an attention whore, because he does a pratfall while walking backstage.

Monica and Jonathan are back to do their mambo. You'd think Monica would have watched the tape back of this routine the first time and realized how unflattering her dress was, and insisted on a wardrobe change. Jonathan is really just shoving Monica around the dance floor -- he just grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and pushed her around. Well. That was fun?

The Gute returns with Anna to do the tango. I think I need to see an E! True Hollywood Story about the Gute, because what the eff happened to his career? He did a string of high earning movies in the mid 1980s, and then just disappeared until the mid 1990s, and when he returned, he was doing terrible movies. Do you think he had a breakdown or something? Or a stint in rehab? And that makes me wonder what would happen if a dancer got paired with a celeb that had a serious drug problem. It seems like that could interfere with learning to dance, but how could they get out of it? God, I need to find a mole who works in makeup or something to give me the inside scoop.

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Dancing With The Stars




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