Dancing With The Stars
Season 17, Performance 5

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 24 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
My Favorite Year

Thank God for Bill Engvall, who chose a year before 2000. He chose 1982 because that's the year he got married. His song is "She's Always a Woman" by Billy Joel, because he feels like his wife has made him the man he is today, and he always get the accolades in his career, when they really belong to his wife. They have the Viennese waltz, and Bill is really sweet and tender. And he's a good actor! Not to mention graceful and light on his feet. I really love to watch him dance because he's clearly not a dude who would go in for ballroom dances, but it turns out that he's really good at it. Again, I wish he were on a different season.

Judges? Bruno thought it was heartfelt, but his arms were a little bowling-y. Carrie Ann thinks that he touched their souls even if his timing was a bit off. Len loved the romance and his frame, even if there were a few timing issues. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8.

Snooki's most memorable year was 2010 when she gave birth to her son, because it changed her into a better person. Here's what I don't get: in the clip package hanging out with her son at home, Snooki is wearing a T-shirt, sweats, and stiletto heels. I don't get it. Anyway, they are doing a jazz routine to Britney's "Werk Bitch." I don't know what jazz dancing is, but this seemed like a club dance. It was fun to watch, but it seemed like a routine that two buddies would work up at home and then do in the club for their friends, who would stand in a circle and clap.

Judges? Carrie Ann loved how she hit all of the moves on the beat and in sync with her partner. Len thought it was vibrant with great technique. Bruno calls it an "exhilarating bundle of fun." Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9. I guess.

Then there's a segment about whether or not previous dance experience is a blessing or a curse. They all agree that it can be either one. Tony says that it's a huge challenge as a teacher to get someone who has never danced before. But most of them agree that the best dancer doesn't usually win, because it's more about the journey the person takes, and the audience loves to get behind an underdog. I think the people who get really hurt by the ringers are the mediocre dancers – this season that would be Leah or Bill Engvall. They're good enough to keep around, but they are never going to beat Corbin or Amber on scores alone. In another season, they might be at the top of the leaderboard.

Brant talks about 2009, and how he lost his father to lymphoma that year, but it also kickstarted his acting career because he realized he was halfway as old as his father and didn't have any guarantee of how much time he had left. Brant wants this contemporary routine to be uplifting and not depressing. I really don't get the story of this routine because they are fighting and then dancing together and what does this have to do with a father or death or grief or whatever? Brant moves very well, except when he's doing kicks, and then he doesn't point his toes and looks like he's doing karate kicks. I know it's contemporary, but Peta is pointing her toes so I assume Brant is supposed to as well.

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Dancing With The Stars

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