Dancing With The Stars
Season 16 Performance 5

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 1 USERS: B+
Ando the Magnificent

Judges? Carrie Ann tells Len that she loves the side-by-side challenge, and she thinks each celebrity was blossomed from working with another pro. And that was a fabulous routine. Len tells Kellie that she put the "ooo" in "smooooth" and he thinks she could make the finals with that kind of dancing. Bruno loves the elegance and humor. They really should give Derek props for his Old Hollywood choreography. It really was like a Hepburn/Tracy movie. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9 and Bruno 9.

I really don't want to watch DL "dance" again. Ugh. Anyway, he has the tango, and they'll be dancing with Sacha and Chelsie. Okay, DL is just walking around the floor right now. There's no actual dancing happening. He's marching around and poor Cheryl is kicking and flicking her feet all over the place but he's just walking. Can we please vote him off already? There's no sexual tension in this routine, and no artistry. I mean, Cheryl is trying really, really hard, but it's not there.

Judges? Len thought it looked all right but lacked any buzz or attack. Bruno thought he did have attack but that made him stompy. Carrie Ann loved the intensity and focus but the side-by-side showed the difference in technique. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6 and Bruno 6. That's about right.

Val and Zendaya have the Argentine tango this week, and I don't know how Val is going to pull off the trick of being age-appropriate with the sexiness. Especially when they're paired with Maks and Anna, two of the sexier dancers in my opinion. Anna tries to make a woman out of Zendaya. And then Maks and Val dance together and holy crap did a ton of fanfic or realfic or whatever it's called just get furiously typed into Tumblrs around the world.

Holy shit, you guys. Zendaya is amazing. This is her dance. This is the dance that her body was built to do. Her movements are sharp and right on point. I didn't see one flaw in that routine. Not one. Okay, maybe during the side-by-side, some of her turns were a tiny, tiny bit wobbly. But that's a stretch.

Judges? Bruno calls her the lethal beauty and the ultimate femme fatale, and says she was as good and as strong as Anna. Carrie Ann can't believe she managed that dance at her height, and she loves that every move had a story behind it. Len thought it was like a lemon tart: sharp and tasty at the top, crisp and tasty at the bottom. I guess that's a compliment? Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 9, and Bruno 10. I would like to know what flaw Len saw in that routine.

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Dancing With The Stars




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