Dancing With The Stars
Season 16 Performance 5

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 1 USERS: B+
Ando the Magnificent

I was going to open with some snarky comment about how it's kind of gross to be airing a dumb dancing competition when Boston and the country are in turmoil, but after watching the cable news networks fall all over themselves to give us zero new information, I think some dumb dancing might be just fine for right now. Let's just wait until there's actual news, instead of getting second-by-second speculation based on no actual reporting. You guys good with that? Cool.

The show starts with a dance by all of the pros, including the triumphant (?) return of Maks. Can someone please tell Maks (and Val) that their whole licking pinkies and smoothing eyebrows thing is not a dance move and it's not a signature move and it's actually quite creepy? Between that and the "wiping sweat from my brow and flicking it on the floor" move, I'm starting to think those brothers have an issue with bodily fluids. Anyway, after the pros open the number, each remaining couple gets a solo. The ones you'd expect to be good are good and the ones you'd expect to be awful are awful. No surprises here.

Tonight's challenge is that each couple has to dance side-by-side with a professional couple so that we can compare. The pros dance first, then they both dance side-by-side, then the celebrities dance alone. During the side-by-side part, they will be doing the same choreography. Wow. Some of these people are going to look awful. They should have done this during All-Stars. I wonder if any of the pros asked their friends to dance kind of crappy so the celebrity wouldn't look so bad.

The first couple to attempt this challenge is Ingo and Kym, who will be dancing the cha cha next to Tony and Emma (from the troupe). Tony really does seem to be toning it down in his opening. During the side-by-side, Kym is no dummy and obviously choreographed it so that most of it involves Ingo just standing there while she spins around, so there's not a ton to compare. Ingo makes more of an effort than he has in the past at including some hip action, but he's no Tony. During their solo part, Ingo seems like he forgets some steps. He just seems off the beat, but he is really performing. I'll give him that. It's awkward and clunky looking though.

Judges? Len says that tonight is about stamina, since the dances are longer, and Ingo made it through the dance really well. Len loves how he attacks the dance, but now he needs to take more care with his movements. Bruno says that Ingo pulled that one off through sheer strength and willpower. Carrie Ann says that Ingo needs to work on below-the-belt and then everyone makes salacious comments and it all falls to shit. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7 and Bruno 7.

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Dancing With The Stars




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