Dancing With The Stars
Season 16 Performance 5: Results

Episode Report Card
Kim: A- | 1 USERS: B+
Get Out, Now

The show opens with a contemporary number choreographed by Mark and Derek which was actually really good and interesting for once. It reminded me a lot of a routine that you would see on America's Best Dance Crew. Aw, RIP that show. I miss it.

This is followed by a highlights package from last night's show. Which I already watched, and recapped, and you probably watched and/or read the recap, so we'll be skipping that and getting right to some results. Kellie and Derek are safe. Ingo and Kym are in jeopardy.

After the break, we see outtakes from the interviews, including Andy getting wrapped up in his cape, Sean offering Tristan a rose, and Jacoby sneaking up on people with an airhorn. Oh, the antics.

Len makes Jacoby's dreams come true by giving him the encore. Have I mentioned that, in this routine, Jacoby does the splits both ways? And also takes like three steps and jumps over Karina's head? Not off the stairs. From the floor. His athleticism is amazing. I think he's the best athlete they've had on the show. His feet are better tonight, but they're still pretty bad. And yet, I still loved that routine.

Quick clip of Carrie Ann and Bruno ripping on Len for his gestures during his introduction of the side-by-side challenge. I found that more amusing than any of the scripted bits this show has tried to do, ever.

And then it gets better because Tom asks Zendaya about dancing with the brothers Chmerikovskiy (I just tried to spell that from memory and checked and I totally nailed it! Just kidding, I didn't have nearly enough letters in there.). This leads to a clip of Maks bitching about how Val hurt his back and their mom will blame Maks and then they start sniping at each other about how Maks was late for rehearsal and Val says Maks is dressed like a gondolier (he totally is) and it's actually pretty hilarious. To the surprise of no one, Zendaya and Val are safe.

Then we get to find out that Victor had to pee like three minutes before he went on last night. I hope he had time to wash his hands. And Victor and Lindsay are in jeopardy. They're not surprised.

The Band Perry is on hand to perform "Better Dig Two." Their name bothers me. Why not The Perry Band? Their lead singer is wearing a gold cocktail dress that looks a lot like my prom dress. Except my prom dress was teal, of course. But the shoulders are HUGE. She also looks like some celebrity and I can't put my finger on it. That's going to bother me all night. Tristan and Whitney from the troupe do a pretty steamy routine.

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Dancing With The Stars




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