Dancing With The Stars
Season 14, Performance 4: Results

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B | Grade It Now!
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Sherri Baby

Brooke is upstairs with the next possible eliminees. Maria, Jaleel and Gladys making some inane chatter about... nothing at all that amounts to much of anything. Maria does her grating laugh that makes me want to punch the TV, as she's asked what she might take off for next week's "steamy Latin" round. "Derek's pants" seems to be the prevailing answer. Jaleel in turn promises nudity if he makes it through. (Please, I beg of you, no.) Tom gets in a quick zinger: "I bet if you hear that laugh of Maria's enough, the pants go right back on." This show would be tedious without him.

In the rehash/backstage footage from last night, Maria is pissed she missed a step (but the judges didn't notice). Gladys Knight got up close and personal with Gene Simmons' infamous tongue. Jaleel was goofy with some smoke, and kept spinning longer than planned. Then he does his panther to the poor camera man. Kym looks over it. I love her. Results time. Maria and Derek are coming back. What can she break this week? Funny bone? Jaleel and Kym are safe, but slow on the uptake. Gladys and Tristan... are also safe. This does not bode well for Sherri.

There's a clip package, where all of the pros talk about what they really want in a partner. They are all a little freaked out about the high level of dancing talent this season and the high scores so early on.

Brooke's got Donald and Roshon upstairs in the skybox, asking if they are happy about scoring high. No one feels really safe, but they were great to get their big scores. Chelsie feels hopeful about their chances. Donald is just nervous.

Tom plugs the stupid Design a Dance. Before Karina and Jose Manuel Carreno do an argentine tango with the Gotan Project performing behind them. It's pretty hot, with a lot of great lifts.

James Van Der Beek is hanging out in the audience to promo Don't Trust the B----. What I wouldn't give to watch Dawson compete on this show. A foxtrot to Paula Cole's "I Don't Want to Wait." Him crying in the most unfortunate way every time something emotionally touched him. Karina having to put on a costume like a whipped cream bikini for movie theme song night. Oh man, it could be really good.

But back to reality. We see backstage last night that Donald got applause from KISS for his high scores. Roshon was so happy about his compliment from Len, and now wants to text with him. Let's not push it, Roshon. Len obviously doesn't know what text messaging is. Tom tells us one couple's safe, one is in the bottom two. No shocker that Roshon is in the bottom. Donald nearly passes out in relief that he's safe.

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Dancing With The Stars

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