Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
Lady Killer

Tom and Brooke welcome us. Does Brooke suddenly have freckles? Has she ever had freckles before? I like her with freckles! Anyway, they're blathering on about Ralph's injury and how the leaderboard was turned upside-down. I watched last night, so I'm up on it, thanks. Len announces the encore dance belong to Kirstie and Maks for their Argentine tango. It's better the second time around. I'd like to point out the difference between Maks and Mark; Maks really does let his partner shine. Kirstie isn't nearly the natural dancer that Chelsea is, but Maks fades into the background so that you really focus on Kirstie. I like this routine just fine, but when Kirstie tries to make the sexy face at the end, she's either got too much Botox or too much lip filler and she can't really do it. She ends up making a fish face, which isn't sexy.

The first couple up for review is Hines and Kym. Before they danced, Kym told Hines that his butt looked cute in his pants. I realize that no one mentioned how unnecessary the whole ring thing was to the routine. Len, I'm counting on you for stuff like that. Next up for review is Maks and Kirstie. They did great with their tango, but then at one point when they were rehearsing their Instant Dance, Maks did that stupid kick move and shoved Kirstie across the floor and she fell on her ass. Yikes. And yet he did it TWICE during the actual routine, and she didn't fall. I hated that move. So let's find out if these two couples are safe or in jeopardy. Hines and Kym are through to the semifinals. And Kirstie and Maks are also safe. Whoo! I'm pretty happy about that. I don't care who of the remaining three stars goes home.

Time for DanceCenter. I used to look forward to this segment, but it's been kind of lame for the past two seasons. They bring up how Maks was on the Ukraine Bachelor, but there's... no joke there. Except Jerry Rice saying that Maks is like him. Then there's a bunch of clips of Kirstie babbling. I can't. Moving on to Romeo. They make fun of him for the fact that he always claims he's doing it for the kids, that anything is possible, and that there are no limits. They show clips of him saying this over and over. I always suspected that Romeo didn't have much of a personality, so that's kind of awesome. Then there's a dumb joke about Romeo's abs.

Michael Bolton and Delta Goodrum are singing... something. Is she even singing in English? Oh, I recognized a few words. I guess that is English. Anna and Dmitry dance. Anna is really a beautiful dancer, and they look good together. I guess he's kind of the younger version of Jonathan. Michael Bolton is having quite a week between the Lonely Island song and this appearance. He's got a good publicist, because based on his dour bitterness last season, I doubt he would have done these things if his publicist or agent hadn't pushed him to do so. Anyway, listen for this song on easy listening stations near you. Zzzzzz.

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Dancing With The Stars




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