Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: C | Grade It Now!
Don't Stop

Backstreet Boys return to sing "I Want It That Way." I don't know what's going on with the sound, but AJ's mike isn't on or something. You can't hear him. Maybe that's a blessing. Y'all, Nick Carter turned into a man. I actually watched his terrible Carter reality show on E! for some reason and he was kind of a punk then (although Aaron was way worse) but Nick in a suit? Please and thank you. And he's also the only one whose voice doesn't sound like raw sewage. Except I'm pissed because they didn't do the part of the song where Nick goes, "Don't wanna HEAR you SAAAAAAY!" One time I was listening to this song on my headphones (in like 1999) and I sang that part so loud that a container of ice cream fell out of my freezer. I like that part, is what I'm saying. Maybe Nick can't hit those notes anymore. NKOTB comes out and does "Step By Step" which is about my least favorite song from their catalog. How about "Please Don't Go Girl"? In the middle of it Joey and Donnie (I think) run out and do a little ballroom for old time's sake. That was still disappointing for many reasons, though.

Pia the American Idol Reject is on hand to sing something. Why am I supposed to care about her again? She looks like a cross between Kara DioGuardi and Rachel Bilson. And Mark and Karina are dancing to her song. Because allegedly, Pia and Mark are dating. Yeah, right. That's not at all a naked grab for publicity. This Pia has a pretty voice, but she needs to learn something about dynamics. The whole song is at belting level and it could do with some quiet parts for contrast. She sings like Mark dances. I guess they would be a good couple.

How about some of the other remaining contestants? Kendra was thrilled with her reception and her scores. Watching the highlights of Chris's routine, I really do think he was underscored. He was at least as good as Ralph. Afterward, he humbly accepts that he didn't do great and vows to do better next week. Speaking of Ralph, I know that the judges felt bad because Karina screwed up but I can't believe no one mentioned Ralph's awful facial expressions and posture. It was really horrendous.

So of Kendra, Chris, and Ralph, who is safe and who will be going home? Wow, we're down to the final three already? I haven't been paying attention. Well, Kendra and Louis are safe. BOOOOOOO! Not enough O's in the world for that BOO. After the break, Tom points out that Chris and Ralph are not necessarily the bottom two. I really hate that. So who's going home? Chris and Cheryl. Aw. I thought he showed promise! And of these three on the stage, he should have stayed the longest. Chris is funny and gracious in his exit speech. The Miz is there to support him as well. I'm having a recapping vortex. I recapped his season of Real World and now he's the WWE Champion somehow and I'm recapping that, sort of. Chris and Cheryl's package is really cute; they clearly got along like buddies. Man, speaking of bad wigs, between Ralph and Kendra, I haven't even gotten around to talking about Kirstie's hair disaster. This show needs new hairdressers.

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Dancing With The Stars




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