Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: C | Grade It Now!
Don't Stop

Backstage, Brooke is talking to Romeo and Ralph. Brooke reminds us that Romeo called Hines out and then beat him. He did? I thought Hines was on top of the leaderboard last night? Oh, I guess he wasn't. Where did I get that from? Poor math skills, I guess. Sorry about that. Anyway, Ralph and Karina are gushing all over each other (ew), talking about how amazing it was that they were able to recover when Karina tripped and fell.

Tom introduces the next package. First up is Hines and Kym, and Hines was a little disappointed that he didn't get a 10 when some other people did. Before they danced, Maks had to tell Kirstie to tone down her excitement, which is smart. It was a slowish song, and it would have been easy for her to overdo it.

Kirstie and Hines are on stage to hear their results. Hines and Kym are still in it. Kirstie and Maks are safe as well. Maks looks happier this season than he has been in a long time. I don't like him clean-shaven, though. It makes him look too young.

Package on the pro troupe. No one cares. I mean, I feel bad for these pros because they are obviously working hard and doing great work, but I think America only has enough room in their brains and hearts for a few dance pros, and that space is filled by the current pros. I can't learn any more.

Seriously? A dance inspired by the Royal Wedding? What the fuck is this horseshit? It starts with some little kids dancing and one boy and girl kiss. Then it's their wedding and everyone is scrabbling all over the place, America's Best Dance Crew style. Then they are old like Kenny Rogers and Barbara Billingsley but still dancing and then Kenny is dead? I guess? And Barbara is dancing alone? And then the little kids are back because the circle of life? That was the DUMBEST thing I have ever seen on this show, and I have seen some really dumb things. Like Kate Gosselin everything. And Bristol Palin and the monkey suits. But that takes the cake. Also, that has zero to do with the Royal Wedding except that someone wore a wedding dress. That had as much to do with the Royal Wedding as my own wedding did. This show needs to shut up forever and just tell me who's going home. Now I'm pissed.

Package about how hard the stars are working. Here's a tip. They're working hard. And it's really challenging. But that's when they work harder. This is real. They're not here to make friends. It's a competition. They love the thrill of performing. Blah blah blah.

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Dancing With The Stars




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