Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: C | Grade It Now!
Don't Stop

I don't know who came up with the idea for NKOTB and BSB to tour together, but that person is a genius. I don't know who came up with the idea for those two groups to actually write new material together, but that person should be murdered. They should just do a medley of "I Want It That Way" and "Please Don't Go Girl" and that's the end. Also, Joey McIntyre is the whole reason I started watching this show in season one, bless his little buns. Have Tony and Lacey just joined the pro troupe at this point? Because it seems like they are doing every routine with them. Anyway, the merged group finishes their song (which wasn't terrible, but I would rather hear the old stuff) and strikes a pose. My favorite part is one of the BSB's pose is holding his sunglasses in his hand and pointing with them at the audience. That's thug life, right there.

Backstage footage from yesterday. Mark twisted his ankle and danced with Chelsea anyway. Yeah, we already knew that. Before their dance, Chelsie had to pee and then Romeo got REALLY excited about getting a 10. Like, he stripped off his shirt and started to strip off his pants. Because that's what you do when you are happy? Right? Isn't that what you do? If I had abs like Romeo, I probably would, actually.

So it's time to find out if Chelsea and/or Romeo are safe. First, we find out that Romeo is definitely safe. And so is Chelsea. When Brooke announces it, Mark gives a gesture like, "Of course we are safe, because I am awesome." I hope Nick Carter punches Mark in the face backstage. I don't know why he would, but he seems like the man to do it. Or maybe Donnie Wahlberg. Someone needs to make that shit happen.

Kendra and Louis get the encore. Kendra's hair still looks like a caveman. I think I figured out why I don't find her sexy. It's because SHE doesn't seem like she feels sexy. She's just doing the routine in a "sexy" (in quotes) way but she doesn't seem like she takes pleasure in it. It's like the strippers in the club at noon on a Thursday, grinding it out to one more Poison song and hoping for some tips, but the whole time they're thinking that they have to pick up their kid from his dad's house by 3 PM and what are they going to make for dinner? You know? She doesn't seem connected to her body even though she has all the exterior trappings of a cartoon parody of sexiness. It's the difference between her and Pam Anderson. Pam seemed like she FELT sexy doing the routines, and it seemed like she was doing it for herself, while it seems like Kendra is doing it because... I don't know why. To extend her fame? I have no clue.

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Dancing With The Stars




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