Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!

I'm sad that Tom doesn't say "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE" anymore. I wonder who made that decision. Did Tom feel like it was played out? Did the producers feel like it wasn't necessary? Did someone just forget one week and then they realized they don't need it? These are the big issues that need to be investigated. I don't care about the behind-the-scenes quarrels and divas. Okay, I totally care about that. But I also wonder why Tom doesn't say LIIIIIVE anymore.

After reviewing the standings, Tom asks Len who's getting the encore, and Len says they'd like to see Kyle and Lacey's jive from the Instant Dance. It's fun, but it doesn't have the adrenaline of last night. There was something about the "this could go horribly wrong" terror in their eyes that made it more fun. And I think it helped you to overlook any mistakes in technique. It's definitely high-energy, though. I wonder if Kyle had the stamina to do that routine at the beginning of the season.

Last night, Kyle and Lacey got praise from the judges for their waltz and their jive. Kyle dedicated the jive to his mom, except for the part where he slapped Lacey on the butt. And we get to immediately find out if they are in jeopardy tonight. And guess what? They are not. They are, in fact, safe.

Before the break, we get a bumper for DanceCenter that's a parody of the ESPN ads. Kenny Mayne and Jerry Rice are practicing their arm movements. Mark walks out of a back room, shirtless. Then Tony walks out of a back room, shirtless. And finally Len walks out of a back room, shirtless. Kenny and Jerry exchange a puzzled look. It's really a visual joke. I'm not doing it justice.

That means it's time for DanceCenter! The first victim is Kurt Warner. There's a lot of talk about big hands, and Jerry Rice gives a wink to the camera, so at least they're acknowledging that you can only talk about a guy's big hands for so long until the audience at home wonders what else is big on him. Come on, you were thinking it, too. And then Len whips out a fake giant hand, and I was all groaning, but Kenny saves it by telling him it's a stupid prop, and then Len gently rubs Kenny's shoulder and it went back around to being funny again. Then it gets unfunny when they pretend Kurt takes out the pros with his exploding football.

Kyle is up next. After a few jokes about how young Kyle is, they talk about how Lacey and Kyle both wear really ugly clothes during rehearsals. Didn't this segment used to have some bite to it? And then they talk about Bristol. Len claims that she has beautiful footwork. Their biggest joke is about Mark's stupid tattoo. I don't even get the part that comes next, where Kenny says that smart ideas like Bristol wearing a gorilla suit will help the Republicans stay in power. So they're saying it's a dumb idea? And what does this have to do with politics? That joke doesn't even make sense.

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Dancing With The Stars




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