Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!

This week, the dances are supposed to tell a story. And just like last season, I think that pretty much every dance is supposed to tell a story, so I don't really get this challenge. I think it just encourages business, which Len and I hate, and props, which Len and I also hate. Len and I protest this week. The opening credits just remind me about Audrina's Ceiling Eyes. Do you think she knows that she has ceiling eyes? Is there a surgery for that? Because Audrina clearly is not against surgery to improve her appearance, if you know what I'm saying.

I don't know what's going on with Story Week, but there are a lot of people wearing glasses for some reason. Karina, The Situation, and Jennifer Grey are all wearing glasses as part of their costumes. Tom and Brooke tell us that props are encouraged this week, as part of the storytelling, so the glasses must be props. This leads into a clip package where the couples talk about their story for the week. Some of them sound weird, and some of them sound seriously weird. It is going to take a lot for one of these stories to win me over, I can already tell.

The pros are going to give us an example of a story dance. It's supposed to be three poor men romancing three rich women. The men are Dmitry, Jonathan, and some dude. The women are Kym and two others that I don't recognize, I don't think. And I totally don't get the story. To me, it's just three dudes dancing with three women. I don't know how I was supposed to get that the women were wealthy and the men poor; their costumes don't give that away. And the big story development is that the women go from long dresses to short dresses. So...that was supposed to represent something? I mean, if the pros can't even tell a good story, what hope do the stars have? This is already dumb.

Jennifer and Derek: Last week's frontrunners have the samba this week. They work out a tale of a student and a teacher, but Jennifer struggles with the difficult choreography, which includes a samba roll. The actual routine begins with Derek at a desk and Jennifer at a blackboard, and then they start dancing together. Her footwork is crisp and her lines are good. She seems to have a tiny stumble in the early going, but they do get to the (shortened) samba roll, and Jennifer does a good job of staying in character throughout. Another one of my complaints about stories with dancing is that people stick a little skit at the beginning and the end, and the whole middle is just plain dancing. But this is good dancing, so it's better than the typical muddle.

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Dancing With The Stars




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