Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | Grade It Now!
Time of My Life

You know, last week I was all, "This season was exactly the right length. Like I'm just about sick of this show, but not totally over it yet. Good job, show!" And then Bristol happened. And then the media (and the forums) went crazy with the ABC voting scandal and the death threats and the mysterious powder and blah blah blah and now I wish the season had ended like a month ago. But perhaps you don't feel that way, so let's get on with it, shall we?

Anyway, it's been twelve looooooong weeks, with tears and yelling and bruised egos, and that's just in my household. But on the show as well. Hey, look at Brooke with the fancy finale straight hair. I dig it. She's also mastered the "tuck microphone into armpit and clap" maneuver, so at least she learned something this season. Tom introduces the three final couples. Derek is barely wearing clothes. I feel like he's not usually one to bare his chest, unlike Mark or Maks. And seeing him, I get why. He's got a great body but he's not as buff as the other two. I kind of prefer the skinnier look myself, but that's me. Wow, is Lacey's dress unflattering. It's got cutouts in all the wrong places. HD is not a friend to her in that dress.

The first dance tonight is a Redemption Dance, where the couples redo a routine that the judges felt they should have done better. The second dance tonight will be the freestyle, which Tom claims produces memorable dances, but is usually my least favorite routine of the season. I don't know if it's because the pros aren't used to choreographing without the limitations of a particular style or what, but I find the freestyles are generally the worst.

The first couple to do their Redemption Dance is Kyle and Lacey, who will be doing the Foxtrot. Their first foxtrot was the '70s Charlie's Angels version that I liked, even if it wasn't much of a foxtrot, but Len hated. So Len comes to visit them in rehearsals. Kyle is happy to see him, because Len is a stickler for the rules, and Kyle figures that if he can make Len happy, everyone will be happy. Len gives him some pointers, but nothing dramatic, because it's Kyle and nothing dramatic ever happens in his rehearsals. Thank God. I'm more fascinated by the selective tiling of Kyle's T-shirt. It has some sort of writing on it -- I don't know if it's a brand name or what -- so they tile it out. But only when it's shown head-on. So from the side, there's writing on his shirt, and then he turns to the front, and suddenly there's a red box on his chest. It's really fascinating. Sad that I'm more interested in that than his dancing, though.

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Dancing With The Stars




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