Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A- | Grade It Now!
No, Seriously, Forget About Me

The theme this week is movies, movies, movies! Each couple will be performing to songs from the big screen. In all the rehearsal footage that they showed in the opening, there was none of Kate and Tony. What's up with that? How come Kate doesn't get one of those injuries that seem to happen each season? Poor Evan, the world-class athlete, breaks two toes and yet Kate stomps blithely on, ruining my Monday nights. LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

Hey, here's a shocker. Brooke is wearing a bandage dress. Seriously, is that all she wears? Why? I mean, I know they're trendy but she's got the kind of figure that could make a potato sack look sexy, so why only wear one type of outfit? The couples are introduced and descend the stairs. The wardrobe, makeup and hair people must hate Kate as much as I do, because she always looks like hell. I mean, Niecy is a big gal, as she has discussed, and yet she always looks sexy and hourglassy and whatnot. And Kate just looks thick through the middle. Shouldn't she be losing weight from all the dancing? Between that and the lack of injuries and the lack of weight loss, as well as the general lack of dancing, I'm starting to think she doesn't rehearse as much as she should.

Niecy and Louis are up first with their jive to "La Bamba." Last week, the judges wanted to see more drama from Niecy, and both Niecy and Louis were offended by being called boring. In rehearsals, Niecy doesn't think she can fit through Louis's legs. She also gets easily winded, and realizes how she isn't fit. Louis realizes that Niecy expends a lot of energy goofing off, so he tries to get her to focus. Was he successful? Well, it starts off strong with a lot of footwork, and Louis does a good job of building breaks into the choreography where Niecy can catch her breath without looking like she's catching her breath. The second half kind of goes off the rails with some wild arms and legs, and Niecy getting a little behind the beat. But she performs it and sells it, which is half of the battle. She concludes by planting a big kiss on Len's forehead; let's see how long it takes until makeup wipes it off.

Len loved how much she put her personality into it, although her movements could have been sharper. He adds that she needed more bounce in her feet instead of her "bazookas." Bruno agrees that it lacked the sharpness needed in the movements, despite her obvious assets. Carrie Ann agrees about the footwork, but adds that it was nice to see Niecy having fun. If she doesn't beat the scores for Kate's jive by like ten, I'm going to be pissed. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6. I guess they gave up on that two-score business. I'm mad that Niecy only got one more point from each judge than Kate did for her jive where she forgot more than half of the steps and had bitchface the whole time. Bullshit. Also, Len still has the lipstick on his forehead.

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Dancing With The Stars




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