Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!

What about Christian? Len starts going on about how well-rounded Christian is, and Kenny cuts him off to point out some of Christian's crazy facial expressions. But they can't really dig into him because as of the taping, they didn't know how injured he was. Pity.

How about Def Leppard? Singing "Pour Some Sugar on Me"? There was an urban legend at my high school that this dude named (I shit you not) Enos Ennis (that was really his name) was in this video. If we were watching it, I could point out to you where he allegedly appears, during some concert footage. The story was that they shot the video when Def Lep was in town for a concert. It was probably the most exciting thing to happen in my small town from 1984 - 1988 inclusive. Anyway, there's a paso doble going on, and it's well-danced, as the professional dances usually are, but whatever. It's Def Lep. Also, I was wrong before - the person with no shirt on is the guitar player (Steve something?), not Joe Elliott. But they're all still gross. Even the one-armed drummer. Maybe the drummer could talk to Christian about sucking it up and getting on with it after an injury.

Samantha talks to Kristi and Mark and Jason and Edyta backstage. She brings up how Kristi and Mark weren't in first last night, for the first time ever. Kristi mouths some platitudes about how great it was. Jason jokes that they were just pacing themselves, and then thanks Kristi for allowing them to have the headlines for one night.

More DanceCenter. Next up is Kristi Yamaguchi. Kenny claims that her nickname is "The Yam". Len thinks her advantage is her ability to learn routines set to music, and Kenny calls it an unfair advantage. So then Kenny shows a clip of Kristi letting her hair down and getting sexy during their rumba, and Jerry goes, "Kristi YamaHOOCHIE!" Len thinks Kristi can be one-dimensional. Kenny agrees that she's a robot, and then points out the worst of Mark's guppy faces. Thank you!

Marissa may be, as Kenny says, the loudest competitor in the history of the show. Len thinks she has improved from week to week. Kenny points out Tony's shaved chest, which is always exposed, and Jerry asks what's up with his glowing white teeth.

The final competitor is Jason Taylor. Len thinks Jason is graceful, elegant, and charming. Jerry is a fan as well. Len admits that Jason repeats the same moves in every routine, and they show three times that Jason has done the same stretchy move. And then there are some jokes about Jason farting, and I love a good fart joke, but me telling you about it won't really have the same impact.

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Dancing With The Stars




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