Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
Performance 5: Results

Ozomatli take the stage and perform with Derek, Anna, Louis, Karina, Jonathan, Edyta, Fabian, Kym, and the kitchen sink dancing. Derek manages to make it through the entire performance without hurting himself or getting sick. They even let the dancers play three beats on the drums to end the song. Who says Julianne Hough got all the musical talent?

Kristi snags the first safe spot to no one's surprise, while Cristian is one of the bottom two.

Then it's onto the kiddie dancers. Does anyone care? I think it's sad that these kids are on TV when they should be outside playing. And you know those boys are getting made fun of so hard tomorrow at school. I think Bruno is really sweet with the kids. Also, Samantha sucks just as much at interviewing children and she does the contestants.

And then the teleprompter guy screws up and Tom Bergeron calls him out. Ha ha ha. I like Tom. We see some behind-the-scenes footage of the stars before the live show. The woman take forever to get their hair and makeup done so the guys hang out. Tony and Marissa share a trailer wall, which Tony takes advantage of to bother her. Priscilla lights a candle and does yoga to de-stress before showtime. Mario exercises with no shirt on. Derek plays the guitar and sings to Shannon to calm her down. Marlee spends time with her kids right before the show. Kristi hangs out in a quiet corner and goes over her moves, just like she used to do when she was skating.

And now it's time to reveal the next safe couple, and Tom repeats the lines he said a few minutes ago when the teleprompter guy screwed up. That guy is fired. So fired. And yet, Samantha is still here. The next safe couple is Jason and Edyta, which is also not a surprise.

James Blunt sings next. Does anyone care about him anymore? I think he'll be on this show as a contestant next season.

Samantha asks Cristian and Cheryl how they feel about being in the bottom two. The answer is "bad."

The next two couples to be pronounced safe are Mario and Karina and Marissa and Tony. Ugh, won't she leave already?

After the break, other two safe couples are announced: Shannon and Derek and Marlee and Fabian (yay!!). That makes Priscilla and Louis the other half of the bottom two.

We're running out of time and the red lights that shine on the bottom two contestants are broken. This show is a mess this week. Len says his heart wants Priscilla to stay but his brain wants Cristian to. His brain is correct, as Priscilla and Louis are eliminated. There's a shot of Carrie Ann looking peeved, although I don't know if that's because she doesn't want Priscilla to go or something else. Priscilla says this was an incredible experience, life-changing, yada yada yada and she learned a lot about herself. Tom has to interrupt her to make it clear that Priscilla does NOT have her own psychic hotline, as apparently people are really dumb and thought that April Fool's joke was real. Which means there are also people who think Marlee Matlin is a volunteer cop.

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Dancing With The Stars




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