CSI
Spark Of Life

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The Wages Of Sin...

Before Sara and Fireman Guy can determine whether they get on like a house afire, Gil yanks everyone's mind back to work and asks about the fire's point of origin. The fireman tells us it probably started along the ridge, and "I'll give you a shout when it's safe to come up." "Okay, Mom," Sara shoots back. Oooh, the landscape ain't the only thing smoldering here. Jump him, Sara! Jump!

Gil says, "This area's always been a good place for star-gazing," and Sara replies tartly, "It's a good make-out spot, too. Or so I've heard." I leave it to you to decide whether she's tweaking Gil with that, or whether she's got her mind on the fireman. (I know. Leave me my wishful thinking.) Gil is wearing an expression like, "Ew. Kissing is so gross. Why can't we just do as the cockroaches do and immobilize our paramours by emitting powerful, paralyzing pheromones?" Then he wanders off to check more of the crime scene. This is how he finds the second body, which is remarkably well-clothed for all that she's burned top-to-bottom. Gil calls, "Sara! We've got another body." The body flutters its long, lush eyelashes and gazes into the beam of Gil's flashlight. Cool as ever, Gil adds, "Get the paramedics!"

The Who is wondering who this live, burnt woman could possibly be. I've got a hunch they just might find out.

When we get back from the commercials, Liam the erstwhile lab tech is bopping on through the hospital. He comes over to a nurse who's finished wrapping up a head wound all like Gretchen's on the Amazing Race and introduces himself with, "I'm Liam. I used to be known as Liam the lab tech, until I got bumped up from the DNA lab to the CSI squad. And then, because my nickname was no longer contextually appropriate, I went as Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three. And then, because my nickname ceased to be funny to anyone except the recapper and she'd rather be funny than consistent, I returned to the simple, elegant 'Liam.' We all clear?" Oh, he does not either. I'm just engaging in a particularly clumsy form of explaining why Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three no longer wears his adopted family status on his sleeve and has returned to his old name.

So Liam introduces himself, and says stiffly that he's there to collect trace evidence from the arson victim. Wow, this has got to be providing some mild trauma to someone who was caught in a burning accident a few seasons ago, huh? Liam fans the flames of incipient PTSD by watching a medical team work on the victim for a while. He's both horrified and fascinated. The camera lingers long enough to justify the crazy expense that went into that special-effects makeup, and then we're back to Liam. He stammers to the doctor who materializes at his elbow, "I thought...I just assumed she was dead." "It's a miracle she's not. This is as bad as it gets," says the doctor. Liam asks how extensive the burns are, and the doctor replies, "Eighty percent. Mostly third degree." So I'm guessing the victim will be in this hospital only briefly before being transferred to a burn center? The American Burn Association's transfer criteria does state that patients ought to be transferred if they've got third degree burns over greater than 5% of their body area.

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CSI

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