CSI
Spark Of Life

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The Wages Of Sin...

Gil kicks out the montage jams and begins plucking fingers out of the jar. They're looking surprisingly unburned, for all that they came from someone with third-degree burns over 80% of her body and presented a risk infection. Gil finds something embedded in the pad of one finger, but that's when we shift scenes…

...to Liam in the co-ed locker room. Sofia spots him and comes on down to say hello, asking, "What's the problem?" Liam lies, "Nothing, I'm fine," and Sofia calls him on it. He admits, "I feel like a wuss." Sofia continues the blunt talk with, "Well, you look like you feel." Oh, she does not either, because Liam is continuing with, "Grissom told me I should take a break, and I did." Sofia establishes that he was working on the burn victim, and Liam asks, "How do you get an image like that out of your mind?" Heavy drinking? Excessive use of pornography? A stitch-and-bitch group? Sofia has a less creative suggestion: "You go home. You, ah, hug your cat, your dog, your pillow." You apply the Bactine after the cat-hugging experience follows its usual course...oh. Sofia's still going: "You have a beer, you watch a movie, and then you come back tomorrow." Yeah, so long as Liam skips The Towering Inferno or Backdraft, he'll be fine. And so long as he skips past FX if they happen to be airing the 90210 episode where Kelly Taylor and her soon-to-be lesbian stalker friend Allison were trapped in a closet during a fire. (Although that is an awesome episode. God, I love Season 5 of 90210. ["God, me too. And anyone who doesn't is AN EXTERN." -- Sars]) And the Food Network's not showing anyone making crepes suzette. I'm sure he'll be fine.

Anyway, Liam pouts, "It that supposed to make me feel better?" Sofia RSVPs to his pity party in the negative: "Rumor has it you used to be a pretty fun guy. Don't lose that." And then she walks off. Because it's better to dispense empty advice than it might be to, oh, invite yourself over for a beer and a bowl of popcorn while you watch Johnson Family Vacation with Liam.

Mia runs an ALS over the sheet from Morgan and Corinne's bed and cuts out the assorted bodily-fluid stains while Hodges lurks in the shadows and drools like the Phantom of the Labitrail. All he needs is a mask and a theme song. "Print me, scope me, savor the sensation…" Seriously. He's all up in the shadows and watching with beady-eyed longing. Shortly before he bursts into song with, "The Phaaaaaaantom of the Lab-I-trail is HERE! Inside your lab!" Catherine pops up and smugly asks, "Hard to look and not touch, huh?" Wow, she is just filled with inappropriate behavior tonight. I ask again, if the genders were reversed, how do you think that would be received?

Hodges bluffs with, "That poor kid has been working her tail off. Only fair, considering how DNA gets most of the glory these days." Catherine's all, "Whatever. Gimme evidence." Hodges does: the dark hairs found in the bed aren't a match to Corinne. And then he tweaks Catherine -- I don't know if it's intentional or not -- with, "Pretty bold to bring another woman into his matrimonial bed. He was begging to get caught." Catherine predictably snaps back, snotting that Hodges hasn't told her anything she didn't already know. So he points out the basal body temperature thermometer that was found broken on the floor of the bedroom, helpfully adding that the thermometer is "used by women to pinpoint a temperature spike that occurs --" "During ovulation, I know. It maximizes your chances of conception," Catherine replies. She concludes Corinne was trying for another baby. Catherine and Hodges then cluck about how poor Corinne was trying to get knocked up while her husband was knocking bottoms with someone else.

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