CSI
Paper Or Plastic

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When Double-Coupon Promotions Go Horribly Wrong

Warrick is wandering down an aisle -- and I wonder, now that we've seen the CSIs raid the fridge in a victim's house, what's to stop them from picking up some produce and a few salmon steaks before they go home tonight? -- when he notices a puddle of caustic drain cleaner and the shot-out bottle from whence it came. The camera gives us the ingredients list -- sodium hydroxide (NaOH), for those of you playing along at home -- just in case we've missed the significance of this, and Warrick gives the bottle a thoughtful look before putting it down and turning his attention back to the bullet holes pocking the freezer section doors. Yeah, well, call me when you get to the ice cream section; I want to see if maybe this fictitious grocery store stocks Chubby Hubby. That flavor has become my white whale: I have stalked through the aisles of grocery stores in both northern California (Safeway, Albertson's, and Andronico's) and southern California (Gelson's and Ralph's -- the others are off-limits on account of the endless grocery strike) and come up empty on every single trip. I have sidled into bodegas and inquired in a weird pidgin patois about my beloved Chubby Hubby and found…well, the odd pint occasionally, which leads me to stalk the place for a month afterward demanding to know, "When are you getting more Chubby Hubby in? What day do you order the ice cream? Why must you fill its sacred spot with the bastard Chunky Monkey?" That the grocers of the Golden State have not clasped the chocolatey, vanilla malt-y, pretzel and peanut buttery goodness of this ice cream flavor to their (union or nonunion) bosoms is a mystery to me, and I am now obsessed with wondering whether other people suffer similarly. And this mania extends to wondering if fictional people suffer from a lack of easily-available Chubby Hubby too.

And how boring and non-geeky does this episode have to be if we're fifteen minutes in and I'm carrying on about an ice-cream flavor I can only get at a Ben & Jerry's store?

Anyway, Warrick decides it's time to amble on over to the frozen peas section, where Emergency Backup David is examining Julia Reed's body. We see the sticky black entry wound on her left side. Warrick asks where the exit wound is; Emergency Backup David rolls the body over, and we see the bullet kind of pressing against the skin on the right side. Warrick comments, "Skin's thicker on the back. [It] captured the bullet." Emergency Backup David says they'll retrieve the bullet during the autopsy.

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