CSI
Fur And Loathing

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Aaron: B- | Grade It Now!
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Yiff-A-Dee Doo-Dah

Once the lecture ends, Gil heads out to the lobby so that he can peruse all the various tables filled with fascinating furry merchandise. And while I'm sure he was horribly disappointed by the glaring lack of fuzzy cockroaches or plush dung beetles or whatever, he still does manage to locate a photo of Rocky Raccoon seated on a park bench beside a giant fuzzy lamb. He immediately forks over the cash to purchase it, and I'd really love to see his expense report entry on that one. He then looks up and notices a pair of…somethings (cats? Monkeys? Moose?) with bright blue fur. Before he can approach, however, we smash cut into one of the nearby rooms, where a furry fashion show is in full swing. Catherine enters just in time to see a giant blue-furred cat, complete with whiskers and a tiny string bikini, prancing down the runway while a jaunty tune blares from the speakers nearby. Catherine tries to identify herself as a CSI, but the cat just hisses and struts back to the other end of the runway. Okay, that was funny, but would Catherine really try to interrupt a show like that? Wouldn't someone from Vegas know to wait until the cat got backstage?

Lobby again. Gil's brought his pair of bright blue plushies, and Catherine has Blue Kitty from the fashion show in tow. "This is racial profiling," meows Big Blue, when she spots the others. Hee hee! Upon further review, I'm actually demoting Liam and declaring that one to be the best line of the episode. It's a total throwaway, but it's been cracking me up all afternoon. Gil and Catherine demand that everyone remove their masks and turn over a fur sample. Gil's two comply immediately (and one was kinda cute), but Blue Kitty flat-out refuses. "If you want to talk to me," she growls, "this is the me you're gonna have to talk to."

Cut to Brass perp-walking Blue Kitty through the station in slow motion as the jaunty fashion show music reprises. And yeah, it's damn funny and all, but are we really supposed to believe that everyone would stop and stare like that? I mean, this is Vegas. A guy in a giant blue cat suit probably isn't even the weirdest thing they've seen since lunch.

Brass sits Blue Kitty down in the interrogation room, and then asks for a name. "My friends call me 'Sexy,'" she replies. Um…yeah. Okay. I'm still calling you Blue Kitty. Brass demands once again that Blue remove her "helmet," but Kitty apparently matriculated from the University of Kentucky's veterinary law school, because she insists that no one can "sequester a domestic animal without due cause." Brass, however, correctly cites the famed Supreme Court case Plushie v. Ferguson, and forces Big Blue to comply. And then the mask finally comes off, and our "Sexy" Blue Kitty is revealed to be…Stanford Blatch. Get it? Do you? You know, "Sex and the Kitty"? Yeah. I have, however, noticed a startlingly large amount of cross-over between fans of this show and fans of Stargate: SG1, so it seems quite a few of you know him better as Martin Lloyd. My personal problem is that watching Stargate just reminds me of how much I miss MacGyver. And also Kurt Russell. "Helloooo, Sexy," purrs Catherine when she gets a look at Stanford's face. Gil then brings things back down to basics, and establishes that Blue Kitty's "human name" is actually Bud Simmons. He also notes that Bud has a "musky odor" that's "quite stimulating." And then they kiss! Just kidding. Gil explains about the blue fibers that were found in Rocky's mouth, and intimates that it might have been Bud's cat costume that caused Rocky's incapacitation. Um, "incapacitation"? When did this happen? The last time we saw Rocky he was happily playing in traffic, and nowhere near incapacitated. Bud, however, does recall that Rocky was "skritching" him earlier in the evening. It seems that "skritching" surprisingly falls outside the breadth of Catherine's social experiences, and Bud is forced to explain. "It's friendly scratching," he says. "People who don't know each other can't just nuzzle and exchange tummy rubs." They can at my house! "But for animals," he continues, "skritching is perfectly normal." "So is killing," notes Catherine, and then an odd and completely unnecessary shot of the city skyline takes us out of the scene.

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