Fur And Loathing

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | Grade It Now!
Yiff-A-Dee Doo-Dah

Back at the lab, Nick and Sara are told that the wood chip Nick found comes from the stock of a Mossberg shotgun. Then they go in to visit Hodges, who tells them that said stock was recently repaired with some fairly cheap glue. "So some budget-minded garage-gunsmith glues his gun stock together…" begins Nick. "And kills Al Sesto for $600 in change," finishes Sara. Nick is of the opinion that "even Petey can do better than that," which seems to be a shockingly generous assessment of the intelligence of a man who eats In-and-Out Burgers five nights a week. "There's always the elusive George," answers Sara.

Except he's not really all that elusive. But we don't know that yet. Some random really dumb guy with random really bad hair wanders into the station and asks to report a crime. Cut to Hair Brain, explaining his hare-brained scheme to Sara and the cop. He was there at the warehouse that night buying expired ice cream for resale with Al Sesto, or "trash for cash," as he calls it. "It's still good," he assures the disgusted Sara. If you haven't figured it out yet, Hair Brain is actually the not-at-all elusive George, and he's now claiming that it was some dude in a ski mask that shot and killed Al. George, meanwhile, was knocked out, blindfolded, stuffed in the trunk of a car, and driven around for a couple of hours. Eventually, Hair Brain managed to miraculously find the trunk latch, pop it open, and jump out somewhere in the vicinity of a town called Pahrump. "All right, MacGyver," snits Sara, "I just need to check you out." Aww. I miss MacGyver. A thorough examination of George's apparel yields a strange blue paint-like substance from his shirt, and a few small drops of dried blood on the inside of his pants cuff. "I'm afraid you and your pants are going to be here for a while," announces Sara, and George just stands there looking thrilled that the hot police lady wants to get into his pants.

Plushie lecture. A guy in a tiger suit is delivering a horrible psychobabblicious diatribe about "the observing superego of society" and how "a human form doesn't always come with a human spirit." The audience is composed entirely of people in giant fuzzy animal costumes, with the lone exception of Gil, who is wearing his new giant fuzzy beard. The lecture also comes complete with PowerPoint slides, which reminds me that I actually have a gorilla-themed PowerPoint due for my day job next week. Strange but true. When a five-minute break is announced, Gil ever so nonchalantly turns to the horse beside him and asks, "Excuse me, do you recognize this man?" Then he has to move the picture of Rocky around while he tries to figure out where the costume's eye holes are. Heh. Cut to Catherine, interviewing some of the marginally more normal convention attendees out in the lobby. She shows Rocky's photo to a kid that almost has to be Screech, but he doesn't recognize it. Then she tries to pet his stuffed dog, and he jerks it away with a hiss. Hee! Although I totally could have died a happy man without ever seeing Dustin Diamond in a studded leather dog collar.

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