Crow's Feet

Episode Report Card
Sobell: C- | Grade It Now!
It is necessary to suffer to be beautiful.

Outside, Brass is talking to the two exterminators. The point of this scene is to establish that a fumigated house is highly toxic for the first 12 hours, and if you're inside, you're totally screwed because the firm secured clamshell door locks on every door knob to prevent easy entry or exit and deter would-be thieves.

Cut to Catherine and Nicky having a sit-down with one Dr. Malaga, who owns up to treating the polka-dotted Ms. Stern: "I abladed her liver spots three days ago, checked on her yesterday at the Mediterranean. I applied post-op ointment to prevent scabbing and infection." You know, whatever health plan Ms. Stern had, I want some of that. Forget this $25 co-pay per visit business. Where do I sign up for the luxury suite and the medical professional rubbing unguents into my expensively-maintained skin? Dr. Malaga adds, "She seemed in good spirits." He then gives Catherine a creepy and appraising smile. Catherine attempts to look wary back at him, but I'm kind of distracted by the new bangs and the new forehead. Meanwhile, Nicky forges ahead with the scene, asking if maybe Ms. Stern was taking advantage of some sort of bulk-volume discounts, what with having 42 spots burned at one time. Malaga writes off this economy-sized serving of pain by pointing out that the post-abladed skin is quite hideous, and the average appearance-obsessed patient certainly isn't going to let pain management or moderation get in the way of eliminating all her flaws at once, Swan-style. As Malaga talks, he continues to stare at Catherine, and you can just see him mentally compiling the list of products and procedures he'd do on her if given half a chance. Nicky wants a copy of the medical records; Malaga's busy imagining Catherine's dermabrasion sessions, and it takes Nicky snapping, "Do you have a problem with me, Doctor?" before the awkward vibe in the room is dispelled. Malaga stops imagining Restylane wrinkle fillers for a moment and snots, "Excuse me?" and Nicky explains, "There are two of us here, and you're only addressing my colleague." Malaga claims to be blinded by her beauty; he adds, "You have Venus de Milo aesthetics." Catherine fails to be bowled over by this; I guess being told you're evocative of armless art isn't the compliment she dreams of hearing. Nicky turns to play art critic. Unfortunately for Catherine, he's more into Calder mobiles. Catherine caps the conversation by saying they'll be back with a court order for Ms. Stern's records.

Back in the B-plot, Sara's inspecting the circus tent, photographing mysterious splotches. What, is that where Patches the clown bought it? "He was five days away from retirement…you never see the seltzer bottle with your name on it." She rounds the corner and finds Liam also taking photos. Liam, unfortunately, is wearing sunglasses by Top Gun and hairdo by Beaker. He points out that someone tampered with the tent, and a window is open. Sara says the exterminators leave some windows open to help circulate the gas, and to offer the bugs false promise of escape, just to mess with their tiny vermin minds. Oh, and maybe Beckman got back inside his house that way, before passing out inside. The CSIs agree that Beckman's kind of an idiot if he did that, but Liam asks the valid question, "If he went in [that way] and never left, shouldn't the window be wider?" Sara opens the window wider, but it falls back down again, as the sash cord, which is normally attached to two weights that run through channels on each side of the window and helps raise or lower a window, is broken. Beckman was evidently not much on home repairs. Liam wonders, "Mr. Beckman never came out of the house. Why is there a trail of sand leading away from it and straight to a neighbor's house?" "That's a good question," Sara says.

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