City of Angels
Unhand Me

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Omar G: D | Grade It Now!
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Unhand Me

Cut to the cops wheeling in Walker. "Evyline Walker's been hit by a car!" a nurse says. Turner asks, "Evyline from outpatient?" They roughly take her off the stretcher, where her naked, plastic belly juts out. Bedside manner firmly in hand, Dr. Williams says he's surprised the car didn't bounce off her. "Cute," Patterson says, as if to her little brother. Turner feels around and says there's a broken pelvis, maybe a broken spine. Patterson's called OB and they're on their way. Turner begins intubating. Angie, the woman who played Ross's ex-girlfriend Julie on Friends, walks in, throwing her keys and purse to the first person she sees, as if they're the ER valet. "The pregnancy was going great until now," she says. Yeah, getting run over by a big American car will do that. Williams and Jackson bitch at each other because Williams has some hernias to perform and doesn't seem to like Walker. Williams fails to win the Humanitarian of the Year Award from his fellow staffers. Angie can't get a reading, so she says it's either a dead Doppler or a dead baby. Jackson takes off to find another Doppler. A very large orderly named Lester comes through, saying the Dr. Price has been riding him like a Huffy all day about radiation bags. "That's the Iron Lady!" he says, pointing to Walker. "Boy, I figured any car would have bounced off." Williams and Patterson exchange amusingly annoyed looks. Jackson comes back with another reader. This time, Angie finds the heartbeat, with an emphatic "Yes!" Turner pronounces the baby alive as we fade to black and white.

Loud gospel singing rouses us from our commercial-induced coma. Ron Harris bursts into the records office demanding to see Wendell. A nurse is on the phone talking about residents cutting an eight-inch something off a dead body. "It shrivels a little when you're dead, though," the nurse says. Wendell greets Harris with a hearty handshake and thanks him for sending Wendell and the Mrs. to an embalmers' convention. "Talk about wild!" Wendell says. Oh dear. Harris screams, demanding to know how a severed hand ended up on a food tray. My guess -- a Hamburger Helper commercial gone horribly awry. Wendell says it depends. They walk to the computer where the nurse is still talking about detachable penises. "No, they don't sell it after they're done," she says to the phone, at about which time Dr. Price rolls her eyes somewhere at the other end of the hospital. Wendell kicks the nurse off the desk while Harris hangs up the phone for her. Wendell asks whether it was a left or a right hand. Harris holds out his own hands and decides, "right." Wendell, who in addition to being an excellent slow-roast pig cook, is a crack computer guru, and finds that a severed hand was sent to a lab after dissection. A penis and a hand were switched accidentally, Wendell says. "Don't the residents know the difference?" he asks, while I silently swear never, ever to get treated for carpel tunnel syndrome in Los Angeles. Wendell prints out something that says, "Penis/hand mixup: no sign of each. Possible Siegfried/Roy involvement." Turns out Dr. Price signed the form. Harris goes off on a righteous stomp out of the office. "Dr Price must be building herself a right-hand man," Wendell says. The nurse makes a comment about the missing penis that's obvious and not at all funny. You'll thank me for not sharing.

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City of Angels

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