City of Angels
Unhand Me

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Omar G: D | Grade It Now!
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Unhand Me

Cut to Clerk Evyline Walker, who tells a patient that if he wants a neurology appointment, he'll have to wait four months. The man, who looks a little like Grady from Sanford and Son, says that he has an acute neurological crisis, and that everything spins, like the washing machine, and his car's wheels and that spinner whenever he plays Twister. He needs help! Walker says, "Think I don't recognize you?" and gets on him for coming in so often on his disability benefits. Walker suddenly rubs her belly and looks like she's in pain, which on TV means that you're either in a commercial for Maalox or that you're pregnant. "Aw sweet thing," Grady says, coming back to put the Old Man Smooth Talk on her. He asks when the Blessed Event will be. Walker is due in fifteen weeks. He asks if it's a boy or girl. It's a big boy, like his Daddy, Walker replies, which means that if he doesn't get the hell away from the desk, Big Daddy is going to come and give him an acute fist crisis. Grady calls it a miracle and then subtly segues into asking if she could do a little miracle for him with the schedule. Is this man smooth or what? Walker moves her full lips around like she's going to do a camel spit, but instead overbooks for next week, adding Grady to the schedule. A nurse, who has even more sass and a higher-pitched voice, strolls over to tell Walker that she's turning into a cupcake. This is foreshadowing for later when Walker will in fact be turned into a road pancake. The nurse says that in addition to these people (pan to sad, sick-looking people), they have a bunch of Jayko crap to deal with courtesy of Dr. Lilian "Broom Closet" Price. Walker says she needs a break, but promises to return as The Iron Lady.

Outside, as the gospel chords play, Walker directs a withering look at a smoker standing outside, until he puts out his cancer stick. Walker, ripe with child, hears some grunting and moaning off to the side and begins walking that way. She spots two people struggling in a car. "Hey! Hey! HEY!" she yells. She starts pulling a scruffy-looking guy in blue flannel off a woman. Walker, no stranger to yelling, cries, "Boy! Girl! Ooh, my God, no you don't!" and after the girl escapes, Walker tries to get the keys out of the ignition. The car takes off, dragging Walker back. She is tossed aside, where she rolls backward and onto her belly. The car backs up, revs, then heads straight for Walker just as she's getting up. She gets hit, then flips over the Oldsmobile's roof, T.J. Hooker-style. She lands on her front and it all looks very painful and terrifying. The almost-rape victim screams in horror. The car takes off and the woman frantically calls for help.

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City of Angels

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