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It Takes Five To Tango

Tehran, Iran. Two people are critiquing a painting that looks suspiciously like Monet's "Waterlilies." They both announce that it is ugly. Then they die. Take that, art critics! The ugly painting is boxed up and shipped to L.A. More people die. The painting is mocked further. Chuck has a gun aimed at him. By a five-year-old. Ha! He and the kid are playing an overly violent video game on Buy More's television selling floor. The angry Asian salesman who hates Chuck -- let's call him Angry Man -- interrupts his, um, work and tells him that Big Mike wants to see him. Big Mike asks Chuck what he wants. Chuck asks if he means existentially or what. Big Mike definitely does not mean existentially. He wants to know if Chuck really wants to be his assistant manager. If so, he needs to prove it. In the casting-couch kind of way, Big Mike? Big Mike takes Chuck into the back storage room and points to a giant pile of desiccated PC detritus. Big Mike says that if Chuck wants to show he is serious about his job, he needs to fix all those computers in two days. Oh, Big Mike! You ask too much! There's no way Chuck will be able to fix all those computers in two days!

Chuck calls his team into the storeroom. He calls them "guys" and then realizes that he has a woman on the team and apologizes. The team brainstorms on new names: Fellow Nerd Herders? Chuck's Stable of Hos? Geek Squad? ...Oh, wait. Morgan comes in to offer his support to the team as they embark on their difficult repair mission. Morgan claims that he would be helping, but he lacks the skill set. And the stature, but that's a different storyline. Morgan also brings the news that Sarah is waiting for Chuck and that she is looking hottttt. Chuck heads out to the floor of the store, and the camera goes all slo-mo, and Sarah is there looking positively weinerlicious in her weinerfrau outfit. She demands a kiss, because they have gone on three dates and they have to sell it. Chuck unconvincingly kisses her on the cheek and claims to have a problem with PDA. Sarah grabs him by the hand, saying they should go somewhere more private, then. They head to the home-theater display for some serious spy-on-spy necking, but Casey chuckblocks and meets them there to play chaperone. Sarah and Casey argue about something, and Chuck asks, "Mom, Dad can we get on with it? We have hard drives to fix." Sarah puts four photos down on the coffee table, and Chuck asks why the people in the pictures are sleeping. Aw, cute! Chuck's a moron! Casey snerks and states the obvious fact that they are not sleeping. Casey and Sarah ask Chuck if the photos trigger anything. Chuck stares at the photos, but nothing happens. They are interrupted by some guy with a paper laying dibs on the couch for naptime. The headline on the newspaper catches Chuck's eye. He flashes on something about an art auction, a painting, and a page from a dossier that says "La Ciudad." Chuck asks if they know anyone by that name. They exchange some looks and say that La Ciudad is a killer. They don't know what the killer looks like, because no one has ever seen a photo, and whoever has seen La Ciudad always ends up dead.

Back on the home front, Elie is all excited about her brother's potential rise to assistant-managerial stature. She knows that he could do so much more with his life. He went to Stanford! Chuck feels compelled to point out that he was unceremoniously expelled from said Stanford during his senior year. Curiouser and curiouser. Sarah wants to know what his plans are for his life. Where does he see himself in five years? Ten years? I see someone has been talking to Big Mike.

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