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Chuck vs. The Nemesis

Previously: Sarah does not love Chuck.

Big Mike is looking for Chuck. Chuck is looking for Sarah. Morgan is looking for his dignity. Chuck is reliving his kiss with Sarah while Morgan makes out with Anna on the counter. The kissing makes me relive my lunch. Morgan invites Anna to Chuck's house for Thanksgiving, but she is not sure she wants to go, because Morgan is in love with Ellie. Big Mike gathers the troops and warns them that Black Friday is nigh, and Buy Mart has to be ready! Sarah enters the store, and Chuck is excited, because she hasn't been returning his calls. He won't let her speak and launches into a speech about The Kiss and getting back together and whatnot. She tells him Bryce is alive. Probably not the response he was looking for.

Bryce is alive. The very much (okay, make that somewhat) alive Bryce is being incarcerated in a CIA medical ward. He looks like Luke Skywalker after he was rescued from the ice land of Hoth and is floating in his underwear in a tube of water. Except Bryce isn't in his underwear. Or floating in a tube of water. It's more of an overall impression of Skywalkerness. Moving on. Chuck, Sarah, and Casey are outside the room staring at Bryce. Chuck wants answers, but Sarah and Casey can't give him any, because Bryce won't talk to them; he will only talk to Chuck. Chuck goes in despite Casey's warnings that Bryce is a trained CIA assassin. Bryce doesn't believe it's really him, and he wants to know what they did with the real Chuck. That makes Chuck want to leave. Bryce wants proof that Chuck is the real Chuck. And that proof? Klingon. That's right, people, it's the scene you've been waiting for. The scene you knew would be coming. You just thought it would be coming from Morgan. Bryce says something to Chuck. Chuck is as embarrassed, as he should be, and he doesn't want to respond in Klingon in front of his potential girlfriend, because outside of Comicon, Klingon language skills rarely get you laid. He finally responds, and Bryce laughs. He plays nice just long enough to get Chuck leaning in close, break free from his restraints, grab a scary eighteenth-century (motto: scare the patients before they scare you!) injector thingy, and hold Chuck hostage in order to get out of the room.

Casey and Sarah bust in, and Bryce doesn't understand why Sarah is holding a gun on him. Seriously, girlfriend, where's your loyalty? Since Chuck's brain is so important, Sarah and Casey have to let them go, and Sarah gives Bryce the access code to get onto the elevator. Once on the elevator, Bryce lets Chuck go and says he wouldn't really have done it, but Chuck is rightfully skeptical. Bryce realizes the elevator is slowing down and grabs Chuck again. The door opens to reveal a man in a suit whose scarred face causes Chuck to have a flash onto some gruesome-looking murder scene. Poor Man's Scarface says hi to Bryce and gives him a chance to make up and be best friends forever. Bryce looks horrified at the thought, and Scarface is offended. He asks Bryce if he is going to run, and Bryce nods. Chuck wants to know who that was, but Bryce says it was nobody. Chuck reminds Bryce about the supercomputer currently residing in his brain. "Nobody" doesn't cut it. He wants to know: what is Fulcrum? Who is that guy? What's going on? Bryce replies, "Chuck, this is going to sting a little." And he shoots him chock-full of tranquilizers. Bryce leans over Chuck and asks him to "tell Sarah it's hard to say goodbye." Oh Bryce, don't you know to say it with flowers? Chuck passes out on the floor of the elevator, and Bryce makes his escape. Sarah and Casey find a looped-out Chuck making out with the elevator floor. He tries to pet Sarah, but when Casey gets close, he screams, "Not pretty! Not pretty!" Which totally reminds me of the guy I saw on the subway the other day who was jumping up and down on the platform yelling "Ugly! Ugly! Ugly!" and pointing at some poor woman who is undoubtedly going to need a lot of therapy.

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