Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B | 1 USERS: A+
Obviously Written By Nerds

Apparently the 40-year-old "Missile Command" fans didn't buy much, because Big Mike's not happy about the party. He's so mad, in fact, that he makes Buster the new assistant manager. Buster's agreed to stay on to fix the "sick" branch. He says he's going to perform surgery on the branch, implying that Chuck is the disease he needs to rip out of the branch. Chuck goes to talk to a sad, pathetic Jeff (not that this is any different than our usual Jeff), who's sitting alone on the loading dock. Jeff congratulates Chuck, but Chuck says it was luck. Jeff says he's glad it was Chuck instead of him. He hated being number one anyway, because the whole world is gunning for you when you're number one. Chuck agrees. Jeff asks what the kill screen was like, but he doesn't really want to know, and sends Chuck away. I feel legitimately sad for Jeff. This is why the show shouldn't feature Jeff; I want to just be able to find him funny and gross. I don't want to have any feelings for him.

Chuck arrives home and Ellie runs to give him a hug and tell him how proud she is. He thinks it's about the game, which is stupid because this is Ellie; she wouldn't applaud your gaming even if you were the best in the world. Oh, right, you are. Well, she's still not going to like it. So, no, not that. She's happy because Sarah gave her and Awesome Chuck's diploma from Stanford. Sarah told them Chuck's been taking online classes to finish his 12 credits and graduate. Chuck's shocked. They tell him to celebrate with Sarah, who's waiting out back. He walks out there and thanks her for the fake diploma. She tells him it's real. She and Casey convinced Stanford that his field service should count for something. I absolutely love that Casey was in on this; the guy has a heart. Sarah tells Chuck he earned it, and he thanks her. It's sweet and romantic, so she turns away and points out Morimoto's satellite being burned up. She tells him to make a wish, and it's his. He looks at her with such longing. And ... doesn't that mean he gets her? Doesn't it? Well, no. Because this show hates me.

And, if this were any old episode of Chuck, that would have been the final scene, but because this is actually a show called Jeff, we get one final scene of our title character walking up to the "Missile Command" game in the Buy More and dropping in a quarter as "Tom Sawyer" starts to play. So he wants to reach the kill screen after all. You can go ahead and decide if he did or not. I don't really care.

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