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Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now!
Chuck Versus The Sandworm

We open on a guy about Chuck's age running desperately through some place that's got all the ambience of a bomb shelter. We then see some dude return to his security station and observe the kid on his monitors; a moment later, the guy easily intercepts the kid, drawing his gun and asking with an overconfident smile where he's going. However, he's distracted and dismayed by his monitors suddenly cutting out and the facility's alarms going off, which gives the kid the opportunity to whack the guy repeatedly with the laptop he's been clutching the whole time. The kid takes the now-prone dude's keycard and swipes himself out of there. That was easier than getting out of the NBC/Universal offices, I tell you what. We see the kid emerge from the underground facility and squint in the bright sunlight, and then...

...we cross-fade into Chuck, who has an exchange with a bitchy customer, which is the prelude to letting us know that all the floor salesmen are nowhere to be found...

...because, as Chuck's investigation reveals, they're all in a back room taking bets on whether a shirtless Morgan will be able to eat something out of the "Mystery Crisper," which is, as Jeff explains, "where employee food goes to die." Having had some experience with similar containers in college, I'd be more inclined to describe such food as "undead." Or at least reanimated. Chuck tries to get everyone back to work, but Morgan will not be deterred, as he blindfolds himself and cinematically eats some stuff out of a plastic container, or, I should say, eats it as cinematically as something that's decomposing and mutating at the same time can be eaten. The Asian Nerd Herd girl lasciviously says that Morgan can "eat anything," and you'd think, given that I didn't lose my lunch before this point, I was totally safe. Think again. Also, I know a point was being made with all those unattended customers out there, but there's no way both Harry Tang and Casey weren't elbowing each other out of the way to get the jump on the next Salesman of the Month race. Anyway, Big Mike comes in and barks Chuck's name...

...and on the way to Big Mike's office, Harry gives Chuck some lip. Ring up some customers, douchebag. Big Mike then lectures Chuck about how great the medical plan for Big More brass is, and informs him that a guy is coming in from Corporate to interview Chuck and Harry for the assistant manager spot. After saying that Harry has the "charm of a prostate exam," he adds that people like Chuck, so he shouldn't screw things up -- nor should he let Morgan screw them up for him. Perhaps making sure Morgan doesn't projectile vomit on the guy would be a good start.

Chuck arrives home to find Ellie putting up decorations for their Halloween party. Chuck tells her he might be late because of the interview, and Ellie enthuses that he's growing up: "Do you think that this year would be a good idea for you and Morgan to have separate costumes?" Chuck, as the lead character, you get a lot of lines, and it must get to be a strain on your voice. So I'll field this one for you: GOD, yes. Chuck, however, refuses my generous offer, asking Ellie what's wrong with the costume, and she replies that the whole "two-man sea cucumber" thing is creepy. Chuck informs her that it's actually a sandworm, and that Dune fans have "been going nuts" over the costume for a long time. On cue, Captain Awesome appears as Adam, wearing only flesh-colored briefs with a fig leaf painted on them. I'll consider that his gift to me to make up for his absence last week. Also, Phil Klemmer wrote this episode, and if CA's appearance in this outfit wasn't an intentional call-and-response off the word "nuts," I don't know Phil nearly as well as I thought. Giving credence to my theory is CA telling Chuck, "Wait till you see my snake." Hee. Ellie informs CA about Chuck's interview, and he tells Chuck, "That is...outstanding." I really don't want to have to get used to suddenly calling you "CO," dude, but I won't complain if you stay dressed like that. CA just effing rocks, though. He's so genuinely supportive. Chuck's phone then rings, and it's Big Mike, who's pissed because Morgan's supposed to be working a double shift and is AWOL. I don't know why this is Chuck's problem, but maybe it's because he knows where to find him...

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