Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Farmer Franco's Prize Cow Daisy
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

So everybody's back in Cali, gender roles radicalized and reaffirmed, and now all Agent Carmichael can think about is locking that blonde she-male down with the perfect Intersectless proposal of that thing we call marriage, while Sister Ellie's in possession of a magical Roark 7 laptop just chock-full of something that will no doubt take us all the way back to status quo.

And yet! See the former nudge Alexei summoning his best girl Agent Frost née Bartowski and telling her to take Chuck out. For like the fifth time. Alexei's like, "So, two episodes ago we tied him to his girlfriend and then planted them in the center of a beautiful exploding bouquet of death and then... Something happened?" Frost is all, "Yeah, it's so crazy. We hate that guy! Ugh, why won't that guy die? Am I right!?" Alexei gives Frosty his three best killers, Pierre, Victor and Hercule, and asks her please to not fail in killing Chuck again. She says she won't, but she totally will, I bet. Mostly I just feel sorry for Alexei, because you can tell he takes this stuff way seriously. Poor thing blames himself.

Morgan and Chuck get their training gear montage going, and Morgan is all about how exciting it is to be training for hand-to-hand, the old mano a mano, and Chuck of course can't help but remind us all that he had six whole months of training in Prague before he could call himself a fake pretend spy. Morgan calls his Intersectless buddy "Chuck unplugged," which Chuck kind of likes the sound of, even though it is tainted by feelings of castration.

Morgan is similarly stressed out about Black Friday, which is I think today, because he's heard tell of managers in big box stores getting murdered and trampled and such. They head inside to their bootcamp class, and it turns out that they're actually doing "Strip Kick," which is a combo of Krav Maga and poledancing. I don't know if that's a real thing but if it is, I might just marry a lady after all. A Strip Kicker will make an honest man of you whether you like it or motherfucking otherwise. "All right ladies, let's grab a pole and make that booty clap!" Just like grandma used to say. That, along with "Home again, home again, jiggity-jog," were her two favorite sayings.

There is cuteness aplenty as Morgan and Chuck work the pole, kicking around each other's heads and posing all over the place like the cover of every Image comic book from the '90s. They discuss "El Proposalito," as Morgan insists on calling it, but Chuck doesn't want to talk about it due to how Morgan cannot be trusted. He plays it off well, but you know that's what he's thinking. Well, that and how Colonel Casey can never ever know about the Strip Kicking, which thought shrivels their Roark 7s to a pair of 3s. On the other hand, think about John Casey on the pole. Do it. You have permission.

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