Chuck Versus the Kept Man

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: D+ | Grade It Now!
The Touch, the Feel Of Cashmere

In an effort to give everyone some kind of happy ending in (only!) four more episodes, this show is finding ways to fulfill everyone's dreams. For Chuck and Sarah, that means deciding that maybe they would like to have a child. For Casey, that means they have brought back his beloved Gertrude. For Jeff and Lester, it's maybe finally figuring out what the "cool kids" are up to. But it all just feels kind of forced and really makes for a lame episode. I really wish that instead of trying to make the characters all nice and happy, they'd focus on making the show great again. That would be my dream for the series finale.

Verbanski comes back (now that she's not going to go to jail for Dekker's murder) and immediately tries to get Casey to be her boyfriend and develop an appreciation for cashmere. Unfortunately, Casey gets mighty awkward being shoehorned into a relationship where he isn't the dominate person. So he rebels when she hires Carmichael Industries as a decoy for a weapons deal, while her real team does the dirty work. Eventually though, Verbanski does need Casey to save her life when she gets kidnapped, and the two figure things out and become an official couple. He's even going to introduce her to Alex. Well, at some point when he and Alex aren't busy watching Downton Abbey together (the most awkward fit of a pop culture reference this show has ever tried to squeeze in).

Since they’ve had no business in a while, Chuck decides to change the firm's mission statement to one that cares. (There's a long annoying acronym that I am not even going to bother with.) It's really desperately annoying in that oblivious old Chuck way that really doesn't fit with the slightly adult Chuck of today. Also he's completely oblivious to the fact that his wife thinks she's pregnant, with blatant and traditional clues like her not wanting to hot tub it up, have drinks and complaining of constant nausea -- but how could he be expected to, really? Casey finally lays it out for him, but the pregnancy test turns up negative. So you'd think all would be well, but you'd be wrong. Because the married sweeties are on a mission and worry about the danger factor for prospective parents... who aren't even immediately having a child! Is this show not about spies? Does Chuck really believe that a security firm can just take on "nice" clients? And did they spend more than $17 on the effect of mowing a guy down with a jeep? Because I've seen more convincing things on The Wizards of Waverly Place.

Then there is Jeffster. Now that Jeff's smart, he pieces together that Chuck, Sarah and Casey are spies, but deduces that there must be a fourth. Morgan catches wind of their theory and heads them in Awesome's direction. Awesome loves playing along, and leads the boy into a basement room of the Buy More, that has been blocked off to only show gym equipment. But the two find the fake wall (in the most ridiculously cartoony way possible) and get a glimpse of Castle until Morgan tranq guns them.

The best exchange of the night was Big Mike and Awesome discussing fitness routines and the use of pedometers ... which should say a lot about this once really charmingly funny show. And I'm a little miffed that after all the talk about how Sarah always gets stuck in bikinis for missions and Casey should just have to wear the banana hammock once, we really didn't get to see Casey strolling poolside in his teeny Speedo.





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