Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B+ | Grade It Now!
Mr. & Mrs. Charles
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

First of all, thanks to Tippi for filling in on the recaplet. And no thanks to the Trail Blazers for making it this far in their NBA playoff series. Could the Suns please just put them out of my misery now, so my TV can resume its regularly scheduled shows? A few things Chuck wants us to know: Morgan became a member of Operation Bartowski. General Redhead wanted Chuck and Sarah back ASAP, but they wanted sex instead.

Now: A poor man's Donald Sutherland makes sure we know he has a weapon, then he knocks on Sarah's train car and offers to carve the meal he's delivered. Sarah tries to get him to leave, because she's with Chuck. More and more room service, until an unshaven Chuck answers and the guy tells Chuck about their dining car. But Chuck says he really likes it in here. Then he asks Sarah about music, but that's not on the top of her list. He'd like to work on that, but instead they make out. Until his phone rings. It's General Redhead, which is funny because it says "Encrypted," but there's a photo of her. Sarah says they were expected back by now, and they can't just NOT go back. But he disagrees, since no one really needs them. They agree to quit the spy life with a very cute, "Do you agree to quit the spy life with me?" "I do." Back at Castle, General Redhead tells Casey that they're AWOL, but she's coming to him since he has access to a "unique resource": Morgan. She thinks his "oddly co-dependent" relationship with Chuck will help them find Chuck.

Ellie's packing. Or, rather, unpacking Awesome's weights, which she tells him are not coming with them to Africa. Especially with the airline weight limits, duh. She looks out the window at Chuck's door and Awesome tells her not to worry: He'll be at their going-away party. She's all, "Whatever. I'm sure what he's doing at Buy More Corporate is very important." Cut to Lyon, France, where Chuck and Sarah are finally in the dining car. Room service guy approaches them and Chuck stumbles into introducing himself as Charles Charles. They are The Charleses. On their honeymoon. Room service guy seems to buy it, but after he's gone, Chuck berates his lame cover story. Sarah says she has a lot of stamps in her passport, but this is the first time she's actually seeing Europe. She suggests skiing in the Alps, but he'd rather catch a lot of great concerts. And if Europe gets boring (yeah, that always happens), there's always Canada. As long as they're together. Then Sarah grabs her knife as suspicious-looking guys walk in (we know they're suspicious because of the black they're wearing). Chuck flashes on them. She hides a knife under the table as they toast to "not being spies" and both pretend they don't know those are bad guys. Oh, Mr. & Mrs. Charles, just kick their asses. You know you want to. Opening Cake credits.

Buy More. Morgan fills Casey in: He hasn't heard from Chuck and he hasn't updated his Facebook status in over a week (you'd think the government could figure that out without Morgan, but they do seem pretty inept on this show), which must mean something pretty important. Morgan thinks he has the fate of the world in his hands, but Casey thinks it's more likely he has Sarah in his hands. Awesome comes in and Casey asks him where Chuck is, but Awesome wanted to know that very same thing. Casey disappears, and Morgan tells Awesome he's been tasked to bring Chuck back from ... well, they don't know. Awesome doesn't care; he just wants Chuck there for the going-away party or it will kill Ellie. Jeffster! jumps out and asks if somebody said, "bar mitzvah." Awesome: "No. Party." But they ignore him and talk about mitzvahs. They assume their invitations got lost in the mail, but no worries: Jeffster! will be there.

Back in their sleeping car, Sarah and Chuck talk about how they're really, really not spies anymore, and if he were, hypothetically, to flash, he'd just ignore it, right? Right?! Of course. They're totally awkward and not even lying down, but they turn off the lights. Then they both make excuses for having to get up, so she ends up leaving the room and breaking into another one, then Chuck slips out behind her. She finds a passport for Juan Diego Arnaldo, a Basque terrorist, but hears Chuck coming. She assumes it's the terrorist, so hides in the bathroom. Chuck then goes through the room and finds the same stuff, including a notebook filled with names and dates. He hears the actual terrorists coming, but the bathroom door's locked, so he climbs out the window onto the side of the train. The terrorists talk about how someone's after the main guy, Juan Diego, but he feels secure here. Then the toilet flushes and Sarah comes out with a Southern accent, wondering why they're in her room. Juan Diego says it's his room, but he'd be happy to show her to wherever. She plays drunk and they send her go, commenting on how lucky her husband is. Chuck, on the side of the train, fumbles until he flashes on how to get back in and flops magically back into his window. Sarah comes back with some ice cream and they both pretend nothing happened. ...

For about two seconds, when she says she can't fake this with him anymore. He assumes she means she's been faking all the orgasms, but no worries, Chuckles, those were real. She's talking about finding the Basque terrorist. They quickly figure out what we know (and I just weecapped): They both know everything. They get all hot and bothered about how sexy it is to talk about terrorists, and then decide it would be criminal to turn their backs on this "one last mission." Then they make out. Because, you know, evil terrorists can wait.

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